I do not take this descent into solipsism lightly. I know what kinds of traps I've most likely left myself. One thing I know is that as much as I want to know myself, somethings I

you're sane?" I tried to also let the universe write this but I can't work that way. I have to place each word carefully. I want to know why it is there before I put it there. This

muffins voraciously and power walking with his booty out to burn off those carbs hun, mmkay? By the time he had finished the muffins, he sported six pack abs and a hot bod to

one thing Veronica before I show you the backside of my chancla!" Veronica just looked at me with such hatred that I knew that I had raised my baby right! I smiled and she angry sm

you remember me?” I asked her hopefully. “Why of course! You’re the kind waiter who offered to drive me home from Chipotle after I was accosted by ruffians.” Linda replied. “Uhh...

“But we need you!” the Officer insisted. Det.Manatee sighed and took out the pipe from his mouth. He gazed longingly out of the window. “I left that line of work long ago...” he

to bring out the guillotine. The teacher judged each assignment, and anything less than an A would get the block. “Pathetic.” she whispered, as the blade sliced clean the sheaf of

The third folder put his foot down and scoffed at the folders above him. He used a quantum computer and guffawed at the thought of using anything less to fold stories.

want a free lu-uuunch," he sang. I rolled my eyes. "Um, duh," I said. "You didn't think I was going out with you because I liked you, did you? Poor thing." He looked sadly at the

Oh, wait, never mind. The women and sheep from both countries have joined forces and overthrown both of our military forces. So, this peace talk is defunct, really. All hail our

and the paranormal to stop me thinking about quantum physics. I'd be creeping through cemeteries and abandoned houses with a torch, but my mind would be solving complex equations.

and then coated in layers of laundry soap. The only thing more effective at removing unwanted odours would be to literally bleach the insides of your nostrils! Air Kick, buy now!

, and let me tell you, nothing good ever comes out of there with that color. I then spent the next hour boiling my hand in a pot on the stove, sobbing hysterically to become clean

grill, making her carefully crafted shish kebabs she termed Shish Kebabs a la Todd, named after her imaginary friend. All the lab rats enjoyed the variety of a good kebab, and so

turned on it’s head when she seduced him and then revealed she was his long lost daughter that he had thought dead when he threw her into a vat of liquid nitrogen. She had a spoon

When finally got into there it was crazy. The GPS told us to turn right at this street but it ran right into the Security Wall. We couldn't get around in Jerusalem because of the o

an army of ants taking the chocolate trail away & back to the anthill at double time. Sure enough when they followed the chocolate footprints they came upon an army of ants taking

and the Black hole would have eat it. What she never realized, nor would she ever, was that her heart was the Black Hole. More importantly, her heart was the Black Whole. Atonement

eternally dry, thereby seeking lonely chapsticks to prey upon. A tumblrer is someone who can’t help but tumble down staircases for comedic effect. A Whatsapper is someone who

She stopped mid-think and had an Eureka moment. She had finally thought of a good enough name for her yet-to-be-born-baby, and announced it to the universe. ”Galactus!” she shouted