went better with lots of coffee. On Maple Street, there was no need to wait for the monsters to show up. On Cucumber Avenue, things were a little cooler. The dancers assembled,

-backed man whom we always called Santiago (but who was really Edmond de Varais, King of the Percherons) gave the all-eating monster a good talking-to and showed it what's what.

i had been duped into performing like some carnival chicken. All my stories were dictated to me by my internal AI. An AI which still called home back on Mars. I tried to write some

battles snowplows for the thrill of it. After renovating a new home for The Avengers Hawkeye retired. He spent his last days smelling a jar of his own farts and gazing out at

Diiiiissaaaapooooiiiinted!!!! ...but he found a coupon for 20 percent of froyo . With a little jaunt in his step the gang soon arrived at

The old man leaned back in his chair. "Of course," he preened. "Without a nugget or two, how am I do remember anything at all?" He

"I am the emissary of my people," boomed the platypus. "You have been found... wanting." Before the librarian could speak, the windows burst with a wailing scream. "They are here."

The wind rattled her window, the whistle wailing in the world beyond. She dried her eyes and waited. Nature drowned out her sniffles and granted her a shaky pause.

"Nice job, you dimwit! Never again will I trust someone that tells me you're good." Just like that, the man was forced outside and began walking home in the rain.

A woman sat across from them, rolling her eyes as they laughed and joked around. 'I hate coming to these stupid bars. So why do I?' she thought to herself.

never make assumptions on anything. As the saying goes: It makes an ass out of you and me. What an asinine comment. I cannot believe that jackass! And thus, the thread of

my old childhood clothes and frantically pulled them on. I hope that by wearing them I can relive my old happy memories with that rose sheen of nostalgia. They were a tight fit,

off to lay on the finishing touches of her feathered costume. It is too soon for the judges to deem her final display as complete. I gazed at the whole thing - the glittering

This required a curt response. “Pandas are also infamous for their solitary nature. They want to be alone. They like to be alone and they don’t feel lonely. What is this? A movie

is gone. She may be gone for weeks before anyone notice and even then they don't really care.

become a complete recluse like Howard Hughes. He would stay alone in dark hotel rooms with tissue boxes on his feet, convinced it was the only way to keep germs away. My fans would

The audience received this information with complete silence. Everyone looked at each and began gesturing wildly, unconsciously mimicking miming movements. It was hard for the

based on my experience. Usually, I find out something horrible has happened and dwell on it all day. But, this thing has actually not happened and I dwell on nothing. I make things

"I've had my fill of you, you pudgy, self-important screamer," said Spock with icy heat. A moment later, McCoy said, "He's dead, Spock." "Acknowledged."

-- actually she just reminded me that we call it a mobile home (even though it's not likely to move again). Ours is the one with the eight AC units, because Earth is so warm.