Almost everyone gasped at the news. That’s when we noticed that Phillip Gardner-Lanet was gone. Kevin found him in the atrium repeating “lethality” to himself. “It doesn’t sound ri

written on his face. The most prominent sign was the tire marks across his forehead. His bleeding ear spoke to his love life: the swollen nose to an objecting neighbor's attentions

are ye, lads?" asked the waiter. He had a shock of red hair and a strong Glasgow accent. Gomez shook his head and waved the Scot away. "So, about that hit," I began. "I think that

whip out li'l Jimmy. Nothing like pissing in a sink to get back in touch with your primal instincts. Once I'd rinsed my hands and the basin, I zipped up my pants and fled the

Three anthropomorphic hamsters resembling the three stooges hopped out of the Kia and posed, and I have to admit, they had me convinced. "I just need fifty-three cats relocated

to catch sight of the protestors." The reporter nodded, asking, "The ones chanting, 'Free Ham Sandwich! Bust them out of jail!'?" "Yes, them's the ones," the bushmaster confirmed.

I thought about no-one, and no-one thought about me. We never met often beneath an imaginary tree. We never touched, we never kissed; we never knew what we never missed. We never

Yes, Folding Story will keep you occupied, bewildered, and chortling until you need you to change your pants. Studies show that repeated chortling strengthens the abdominal mucles

called out as she waved a flag from atop the gynecology clinic. Stoats came from miles around to take advantage of Okra's free female health care offer. "There's too many of you,"

Our lady of Perpetual Fast Food Cravings, whose congregation had cleaned out their vending machines minutes after they had been filled. St. Patrick's had tried buying only bland

nunchucks with fins and scales. One moment they were under her armpits, then flashing toward them. Matt and Tim ducked under the Bunsen burner table as flasks shattered around them

to Tardigrade Tartare. Both dishes mentioned were protested by the RSPCA. "Won't someone please think of the plankton!?" "Sea monkeys are friends, not food!" Squiggy the Sperm Cell

brand Kleenex were the must-have item in the city's fashionable district. Morris Dancers needed to make do with handkerchiefs, which meant the gay night life needed a new code.

tied up the apartment complex phone line with her incessant gossip, and whenever she strolled past a computer, she would hit F11 to full-screen the browser. Mrs. Harper was a pill.

"I'm fine," the robot called to Phil from the kitchen, but he could hear more things shattering in there. "Never mind," Phil said, "I'll do the dishes." The robot laughed secretly

Spears came zinging past me as I tore up the hill to the temple. Good thing the guards had lousy aim! I threw myself onto the dais and plead for Athena's mercy. A bolt of lightning

what with the lack of privacy due to the one entire wall of the house missing. Plus, I hated cleaning, even if the rooms were only a few inches wide. Still smiling, he reached in

who knew how to lead a dancer with two left hooves. Kaitlyn and Mr. Ed took up quite a portion of the floor (especially Mr. Ed), and he whispered sweet nothings into her ear over

"How about I be more like Madge & soak your ass in Palmolive instead," he said to me snidely. "That sounds enjoyable; assuming we're scaling up for size. When can do this?" "F&*k

ars later, the ship pierced the atmosphere of New Havox and crash-landed in the mercury sea. Our best scientists retrieved the wreck, but the plague on board was so virulent that