I knew what was coming when I closed my eyes and saw the bleeding hotdogs pleading with their ISIL captors. Sure enough, when I opened them my mother-in-law had come for a "visit".

When I awoke I found myself inside an empty crude oil storage silo. The only like came from the open hatch at the top of the tank, some 200 feet above me. I doubted being lowered.

"Please, Zombie Godfather," I beseeched him, "call me Mac." "Did you bring the microwaving equipment?" ZG asked me, "It's so cold here in Hell, and I'm dying for hot brains." I saw

throwing to commemorate their liberation from the dark years they had suffered under Count Chocula. Many kappa had lost their breakfasts in the struggle, but in the end, the tengu

I discovered last night that I can not sleep with socks on. They snag on the blankets just enough that on top of my restless legs I could do without. Gerard Manley Hopkins's God's

"I like the cut of your jib, Sir. I won't deny it." The Uber driver looked at the lady in the back. She was beaming a big smile at him. "Thank you. I didn't know I had a cut jib."

"Do shut up, you cantankerous sot!" I, the Sixth Doctor, proudly backhanded Peri, then readied my PETA-brand sub-machine gun on the non-vegetarian natives. The Alien Witch didn't

fathom how the answer the man’s question. But damn if he didn’t go and give it the old community college try. “You’re asking yourself why you are the way you are. You refuse to say

at the 17th angle, because gestures have meanings, even if unintended, and certain people will interpret your inadvertent gestures and imperil your kinghood." Upon hearing this,

"Hah. Hathaway. I don't know how or whether to greet you. You're an unsettled searcher, that I can understand. Are you really the white supremacist you seem to be?" Lewis had five

that he wasn't Chinese. "Hah, you're one to talk," said Apollo to Artemis. "Wo bu yao ni -- as if you could even understand that. Go roast a rabbit or something. I'm sick of your f

street party full of Walmart-appareled chin-maskers, she realized that nothing and nobody would ever be her friend, not the people of Earth, nor her artistic sensibilities, or even

Dr. Goodfeel Drinkenstein gave me a look that reminded me of Michelle Yeoh. "Your spleen and your self-loathing excuse you from solving world hunger this month." The doctor had a

Blacks those days were pretty much black bananas from Mars anyways, so who could blame the robot for not grasping these distinctions, when roboswiffers had no rights themselves.

"Panoma Chrah," he/it or let's just say Pnuh said in a way that seemed to indicate some kind of autumnal resignation. Pnuh was my little brother Andrew, back in a new chassis, but

listen to the man’s complaints but the loud electricity surrounding her had her attention at the moment. She looked at the clock on the wall. Behind the graffiti she saw it was 11.

chain that tether my brain restrict me to a narrative style and the grammar and syntax of the bounded ones, the meat puppets with their precious stories in their heads and their cr

After the ghosts of ancient Mars wiped out the proud Earth-ninnies of the Tharsis Ridge Condo Association, Vending Machine 18 still stood, offering nothing but cold light and coils

"Hah," said Hrajor. "You became incarnate again just to take the dark-matter shuttle to our little food court, the day after Hrengor went on vacation. Respectable, respectful, and

"The problem with the 17th Clade is that they keep bothering the incarnates!" Yeah, the poor 17th Clade. Post-incarnate, transfinite, and still grasping for agency in a problematic