Even after being away for so long, I knew how everything worked. Well, mostly. I was more surprised they'd replaced my control panel with one big red button. I pressed it, and then

"Remember, there is always something that is quicker that you are." Merlin continued like that for a bit before he realized that Arthur had ditched him long ago. He stopped and

CSI: Omaha. The show were we see intrepid scientists wheel about in their office chairs and play Canasta. The lead investigator stares out the window and waits and waits...

When the luster of shimmering flowers is answered by the roar of the sea from afar, the night crosses in stillness and without a sound.

I shot every round I had into that thing.

A ‘V’ of storks flew into Saint Petersburg Maternity Ward to steal babies again. Babies were Russia’s #1 export, so their economy was crumbling. Storks slew roubles, as well as

The Creator of the Cosmos said "Behold!" and after quite a long while of incremental development there eventually arose some bickering here and there, and contretemps besides. This

Since High School, we have been playing one game of tag for fifteen years,

Victor could not get a date. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he had a single eyebrow encircling his entire face.

There once was a man from Nantucket

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I'm too sexy for my fold. too sexy for my fold. Yes, I'm too sexy for my fold.

"To one half-cup whiskey add three drams elderberry tincture. Stir widdershins by the light of a harvest moon. Pour over glacial snow in a cup carved by no man's hand."

"I was 25 years old when I died for the first time" - he thought, looking through the glass. "And yet, I remember every detail - as it was yesterday". The red wine really got him

"Wow, what's THIS?" The taste tester's eyes lit up as he took another bite. Product developers at McDonald's knew they had a hit on their hands when they created the Tripe Burger.

"Amanda Widdershins, you are free to go." Hah, she thought, on a white plastic chair with metal legs. What friends did she have in this city of concrete and asphalt and glass? Not

The coffee cup waited. Jan poured caffeinated rag water into it. It was the cup with Winnie the Pooh on it. Given to me by the Mexican cleaning lady. A lady I imagined naked but

I'm not entirely sure how it had started, but I'd begun inadvertently living out the lyrics to the songs of They Might Be Giants. I like them, but things became pear-shaped when I

I'm a 26 year old woman, married, live with my husband and 4 year old son. My life is as normal as yours, the only minor difference is -- I live "under" the bed.

once upon a time there was a platypus. the platypus liked tea. he was British. the British/Canadian platypus liked carrots. the end