Dirk was stirring his coffee with his usual steely purpose. He emphatically unwrapped two sugar lumps, examined them closely and rejected one as substandard. He dropped the more pe

My great aunt Lillian is a famous author, but I am infamous, as in "not" famous, or so I thought the meaning of the word. I wrote that once in a biographical sketch for undergrad

Puss in Boots bought a pair of flip-flops.He was gonna go to the beach and when in Ibiza,do as the ibicencos...He would not tolerate to be called Puss in Sandals,though!

The gold I found in the purse under Mme de Veau's pillow funded my lavish expedition to find the Vegetable Lamb of Tartary in its native habitat. My ship sailed from Constantinople

And now ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for, the highlight of the evening. I give you your contenders for Woman of the Century. First off we have

"This is a submarine not a jungle gym you nitwits!" The commander was steamed.

ράφεις μπορεί να προκαλέσει θυμό σε άλλους, ή χαρά. Μπορεί να αλλάξει τον κόσμο. "Ana πήρε Τι γτο μαγι�

"Do you think iwatches are gonna take over the world?" I looked at Zombie Bob who was

"So, there we were, two miles behind enemy lines, dressed as nuns and smuggling munitions to La Resistance in our wimples, when Lieutenant Hereford had the capital idea of using

"She made me want to be a better person. I made her want to smear herself with guacamole. It was pretty hard to reconcile our respective feelings for one another, which is why we

My story's character is sitting on the top deck of a bus going through Knightsbridge. I'd like to tell you more but my character is refusing all contact with me, won't return calls

The scarcity of trains made tying oneself to the tracks feel like less of a death wish, so former damsels were self-imposing time to look up at the clouds. New age therapy sessions

The dream police that live inside of my head were unable to stop me from dreaming I was an alpha wolf. At night my pack would run through the forest and over the snowy hills search

The lobotomist stood next to his patient, saying "You're pregnant." Xenia was too sedated to feel anything and yawned. What was she doing here? Her mother scheduled the lobotomy

I was reading a book on my phone when an interrupting phone call came through on my watch. "Crap" I smelled. It was my wife-in-law. She'd sat in some elephant pellets and needed

I just remembered the other day when I forgot how to take a shower in the middle of taking a shower. It was the left hand side half. That means only one boob got wet. I don't mean

Drusilla was wearing a ring. In the middle of the ring was a fabulous pearl. "It's the Pearl of Lao Tzu," she told Dominika. "Whoever wears this pearl shall have great fortune and

What of the toad?

Oh, I'm not a professional stripper. No, I'm just doing this to get through medical school. I just do this for a little extra money. You know...to pay for my books and lab fees.

I witnessed an amazing sight this morning on my way to school. It was raining and lightning flashed in the sky with a resounding crash of thunder almost immediately afterward.