Finished Folds (2961—2980)

• 5
  donkey, lit the fuse and stood back. With a massive bang and a small eeyore, the explosion lit up the skyline. Ed wept bitter tears for his donkey, he swore vengeance on the perps

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 16:12:43

• 4
  because my lesbian lover wouldn't let me out the house and I had the time on my hands to bid for high explosives on ebay. God I loved her but she treated me bad.

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 15:33:29

• 3
  to understand anything as they recruited from a small village in the Urals. The workforce of Pushit Advertising spoke in dialect and the word 'fruitarian' or 'Muslim' didn't exist.

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 11:31:09

• 2
  kept going "Aaaaaaargh, aaaaaargh, aaaaaaargh," every time I winked at him. Robert Pattinson obviously had issues that only I was equipped to deal with. I stroked his

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 07:28:40

• 5
  ?" she snickered. Shouldering her bazooka, Sue looked with contempt into Dr Phil's astonished face. "Thanks for the advice," she whispered, " but I get better from cereal boxes."

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 07:23:06

• 6
  late. His cat allergies kicked in and he just managed to drop Kitty from his tenth floor window before he blacked out. In hospital he had only one visitor. Malevolent feline eyes

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 07:18:37

• 3
  "My name's Mike Tyson, but that doesn't mean I don't cry until snot comes out at The Lion King." Suzie put her teeth in, sobbed and enfolded Mike into her burly arms. Mike melted

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 07:10:33

• 5
  turning dodgy celebrities into meat not fit for human consumption proved to be quite a money spinner. He bought a diamond ring as dazzling as the interior of the sun and some

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 06:51:37

• 6
  room and approaching me with a wolffish grin."Excuse me please," I said in a strained voice,"could I elope with you or at least borrow a fiver for a taxi? The grin got wider and

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 06:46:49

• 1
  had taken a vow of silence when she entered the nunnery. Now known as Sister Smurfette, she was sent to Africa to hassle Africans into stop being so annoyingly poor.

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 06:42:41

• 5
  nutrients from the thoughts of small minded people? I loved my new life as a symbiote. Angry thoughts are chewy, annoyance is crunchy but my favourite - boredom- is buttery and

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 06:39:54

• 5
  the usual shenanigans. The Janitor Impersonators shook their mops at the encroaching Chinese junks and held their red buckets to shield themselves from the flaming arrows raining

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 06:33:49

• 5
  The disembodied voice said " Shoes are currently unavailable for small dog feet. Press 2 for donkeys.Press 3 for..." I bellowed at the world and threw the telephone into the porrid

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 06:27:41

• 9
  Lucifer, spotting an opportunity, refurbished Hell in neutral colours with matching throws and brushed steel fittings. The snit-throwers loved it and lived happily ever after.

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 06:20:19

• 6
  I got out of the bathroom and away from the mirror with its never ending questions I do no know. But now I was confused and late for the train to Liverpool Street station to meet

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 06:09:22

• 5
  Ice Beast, although a raging maniac in freezing temperatures, suffered low self esteem in temperate climates. The editor at the Times slammed the copy on the desk and snarled in

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 06:04:46

• 6
  my chamber by coming to bed in THOSE socks?" Dulcinea climbed out of bed hissing that of all the men in Manchuria, she had to end up with me. I felt aggrieved and a little bit

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 06:00:43

• 6
  Being colour blind, I couldn't tell the difference so climbed up the ladder out of the blue hall and straight into a madium sized mall. Good job too as me slacks were tight due to

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 05:55:26

• 7
  "Cher," I ground out through gritted teeth, "I'd love to talk weaves and hair extensions, but I've got a plate of coq au vin with my number on it. Hasta la vista!" I cracked the

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 05:48:28

• 2
  Dolphins can get eczema if they worry overly about pretty much anything. " Eeeeeeeeee'" squeaked the dolphin as many hands caressed its itchy body with paraffin. 'Thank God for

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  lucielucie

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  2013-02-23 05:44:24