Finished Folds (761—780)
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4of the script. This was an improv class, after all. The hectocotylus was a challenging prop. One lady stood the arm on its end, detached the penis, put it on the hand and
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4“We want to find someone truly right for you based on compatibility, but you have failed the Eharmony personality test. Let’s try a different tack. Please answer the following:
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5To: “Nick” <Dick [oops, I mean,] Nick@loser.HRG.com> Text: Your slacker jackass better be at your desk in 15 minutes or you’re fired. -Bob <boss@corneroffice.HRG.com>
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5The Ghurtvin invasion wasn't on purpose this time. They were disoriented due to dehydration, being really sweaty after their last invasion interrupting SlimWhitman’s fungus song.
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4Cookie Monster ravaging a cookie. Det. Manatee knew The Count hadn’t quite learned his lesson so he dropkicked him, landing The Count on a trashcan in front of Mr. Hooper’s store.
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7The Ghurtvin Shock and Awe invasion maneuvers consisted of banging pots and lids together, throwing tomatoes at shop windows and egging cars, in order to take over in a hubbub.
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4It was David Hasselhoff, swigging from a paper bag and unsteadily waving an open Gucci manpurse. Throckmorton put in $10 and watched the Knight Rider lurch off into the sunset.
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3loosies and a can of 5hr. Energy stashed behind a brick outside Shop class.The gym teacher’d had it. The high kids weren't in class AGAIN and this time he stomped off to find them.
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3Regrouping with renewed rancor, we reset our rebozos, and thinking theurgistically, threw thuribles at their thighbones, thoroughly thwarting the thugs
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6Double-ditilled Chivas was far more complicated to make than distilled Chivas, and was a two-people-who-like-to-live-dangerously job, similar to the lab work in "Breaking Bad".
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6a Cheeto floating in a puddle left by the lawn sprinklers (fending off the pigeons that temporarily lost their Pigeon Rights Protest focus), held it up and shouted, “I, One Pigeon
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5found the “motorcycle” was the only the cat, an enormous, purring manx as big as a Beagle. We decided to keep it, and with a nod to T.S. Eliot, named it Alonzo Demeter Coricopat.
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5gnikrow ni esrever thgim ekam sgniht evom drawrof. I nageb gnikat eno pets drawrof, owt spets kcab, dna hcae emit I deppets drawrof, eht ria delppir ekil na elbisivni ecrof dleif
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5Uncle Zeek had mistakenly refilled the Zippo with kerosene. The explosion blew the nearby statue of Barbara, Patron Saint of Bombs, to smithereens. Yep, this was a sign. The couple
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8“The end.” said Det. Manatee, tucking his little niece into bed. Babysitting’s not so bad he thought, heading down the hall. Suddenly, commotion erupted from his niece's room
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6“1.You’re Tom, not a Dick 2.You’re not Harry, either-shave regularly 3. A successful Tom is anonymous, unnoticed, & gets accidentally sat on in a bus.” The Cliffs Notes continued:
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3…Sue sighed. Maybe she should rethink datingfordummies.com. This guy was a social retard and he resembled the Faun in Pan’s Labyrinth. Nobody ever looked like their pictures.
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11yet...hobos will still hop trains, kids will still put pennies on the tracks, and some of us will still hear that lonesome whistle blow.
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1he didn't see skid marks-well, u know where-,or a day he didn't have to take a bath and chose to. If only he could put two of his negs together(not the kind Mystery talks about) he
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2bother reading good literature when there are other choices, like Eden Wood’s autobiography “From Cradle to Crown” and Glen Beck’s “The Christmas Sweater”? I should