The Lubricity of My Lack of Commitment & How. Too often, it is the case that a person, through no fault of their own, might awaken with no intent to do murder that day. It happens.

The art of telling fictional War stories to toddlers and the terminally insane. I figured I had the perfect murder plan, I could bore people to death with not a shred of DNA agains

There once was a sneeze who lived inside of you, that prayed for an old fashioned flu, It took to the news, promising likes and views, Now that sneeze is a far right pundit pushing

theorized that a man or a rutabaga could quacktum leap into themselves at any other moment in their lifetime. Dr. Frankleigh A. Quack took it to the Duck Council. They quacked at

It fills your lungs with flies and turns your blood into bees. It stains the countryside yellow and sends obscene texts to your mother. Smoking is a silent killer, like Ichi.

Ejaculated, as he was into that kind of thing and was kinda glad he hadn't had to pay for it this time. "Damn, although this could lead to a promotion." He mused. Wrong. He was fi-

React to this, but who knows? Maybe they would let little Patricia be the queen of MARS! I could be rich!

But I didn’t know any of that just then so I opened fire on her. Sheasked me to close it. I closed it. “Try again.” I tried again. The past kept slipping through my fingers. Writ

Her aspect to me presented a target rich environment. She was on the low range spectrum for a Space Cruiser almost bound to serve the asteroid belts. She would be mine someday. We

'round!" Father William said triumphantly and then hiccuped. It was clear Ole Father W had either been at the confessional wine again or he was definitely losing it. Who is Zeno an

ver Grey overlooking a field of dead yellow grass and weeds. He feared they might get hip to his plan early so he hired a mariachi band to throw them off his "bore to death" plan

stifled a laugh at the enormous dent in my forehead. "Oh yea? That's humorous to you?" I paried. "Listen, I may not own a shovel but I'll take a pretty gnarly spatula to that smirk

per in its refusal to be summoned, and at the worst possible time. (Like whilst trying to impress a fair maiden on the beach). At least water delivers notes in a bottle and mixes w

ss was actually the name of my bar on Telegraph Avenue? Would you visit me then? I shall deny my Marshal Taylor-ness to embrace my Katrina Chochina, if only you would come as Falic

on a Crystal Limoges platter with a colorful array of gizzards and innards strewn about the tableau. "Magnifique!" said the waiter, placing the last fork and flesh carving knife do

xotically. "Anything wrong back there?" my new lover asked. "No, everything's fine. Go back to your plugging." And so he did. And with zeal! Me thinks parking lot has never seen b

But don't start getting all soft on me. This is war! And war means there's nary a moment to lose. Especially no time for all that googily eye wink wink business. No, not in video g

Susie was completely and totally emotionally dead. She was considered a goth, wore nothing but black and was a member of several demonic cults. Her hairy father understood her,

And then #### and ####, immediately hereafterwards, $@@### language happened, and everyone #####ing died.

She thought to herself immediately afterwards, isn’t This just augumented reality? She chortled to herself that she was surprised for a second, put down her demonic phone, and liv-