My water bottle and I had something to talk about. I called down the Cone of Silence. I was met by the same thing as if I had not called it down. Did I waste a breath on this? Back

To keep from being tempted to die my bush chartreuse I had it shaved off. I had the pubis that I had when I was eight. I went about the rest of the day commando. A breeze reminded

I was just sitting in my office with the lights off listening to the electricity that surrounded me. The lights being off saved me from having to listen to them as well. The sound

The old Indian in me just started singing his dying song. He got great spirits in and just stopped. I wonder what that means. I can’t bring him up. I’ve tried. Others have tried.

That can't be right? Light should be leading the Dark in all things. As Above, So Below. Don't run out of the graveyard because you think your friends are robbers & chasing you now

I can still remember remembering how it used to be remembering, with us. You and me. Remember? You probably don't. You moved on. You had a life to get back to. We only had those st

I forgot who Metis was. I knew she had something to do with Zeus. I just realized I had her mixed up with Thetis. Thetis is the mother of Achilles. I still had Metis wrong though.

Is there a difference between a cad and a Chad? Can one be the other but not the other way. Which makes another other to smother in otter udder rubber scrubber into the shrubbery.

That was the wrong thing in this case. Gusty Tubbs's fetish was getting flipped off by attractive women in public. He found being a Chad loses its charm when the Chad hits a certa

Did that gasket let you down? Couldn't stand up to the heat? You've got a job to do and you need to do it now? You don't have time to dry all the way back to basecamp? Toothpaste.

Eventually, she was impressed into crop picking. "But I'd rather contemplate my navel all day!" protested Llora. So it was surgically removed & strung from the handle of her sickle

dungmonger's frock that was hanging off an awning. Even with this the masher kept on mashing. The splisher kept spashing, she started a new fashion. Now you come here trashing and

achieved concruence with a spherical chicken. Hereafter referred to only as Chicken Little. They called her the chicken who yelled wolf. Completely forgetting that wolves ate chick

the green circle, thereby winning this bout of Twister. The truth was Gastro Intestinal Joe hadn't been playing. It was that the other players didn't want to play on the GI's slime

When it is your turn, you balk. You don't walk the walk or talk the talk. You're a chicken, you squawk and bawk all over the chop shop like you've lost your top knot. Cluck stop if

Fat Cat McGraff bashes but never passes until he's asked. OCD they threw at me and it stuck. WTF? Now every corner, I tuck. Every woman, I wish luck. I don't have a ball, I have a

Salvidore Dali, whose projected lips now seemed to be calling for help from beyond. I had never noticed that before! Had the "Ball-Roller" had something to do with his death? Or

The United Kingston had yet to acquire official statehood when Donny Stump named himself prime minister of this microscopic land located within Ivanka Stump’s microscopic brain.

jar of Nutella and watched endless episodes of FRIENDS. Friends, and employment, were just what my reclusive millennial children needed. So I dragged them by the collars and took

irresistibly al dente. The flatulence, a serendipitous byproduct of my gluttony, saved me from the doom that met virtually all other human life. My only company was an IBS-afflicte