Stop whining! All right? I effed up. I’m lost. Oh, sure, I know, the only thing you ever did wrong was to marry me. Of course, I can read a map. I didn’t see the hole in the road.

man of the cloth (polyester with a gingham print) I cannot turn down a thirsty traveler in need. "Here," said Rev. Jim Jones, "have my koolaod, for it is all that's left of it."

just as Lord Bouldermort is crushed by the hugantic space sphere, then re-appears several tears later on the edge of the crater it had created. Hermoine gazes over the still smokin

Sam's ancestral house had a vampire in the basement. He looked very cuddly and friendly but he had gleaming white fangs. Sam wanted to know how he got there but his old man's dead.

Fisher was very disturbed by his squadmate, Bebe. That man was seemingly determined to become the embodiment of lust at all cost. Man, Fisher needed to act before someone gets hurt

I met my arranged bride. She looked at with barely hidden contempt and sneered at me. I was disappointed in her. Surprisingly, we ended up with the happiest marriage in this town.

My home is the trees. I can live a year without ever touching the ground. Sometimes I wonder if it is not too late to go back to civilization.

I waited for the bus to arrive and willed myself not to check my phone for his reply. I wouldn't check my texts, or my email inbox, or my instagram feed. I wouldn't toggle between

"Burnt umber because I could. Sienna didn't mind. Neither did ochre," explained Quayfagbay pointing out the flashing ICE COLD BEER. ICE. COLD. BEER. I COLD BEER. ICE. COLD. BEER...

I turned in my thesis to the Dept. Head. I hope to hear I can move on to the next step. The title is Methodology Modalities in a Post-Alt-Facts Fluid World. Where's our Kingslayer?

"Hello children." The children screams louder when they realized the spidery man could speak. "Sometimes I sit in my web wondering about my father. How did you inseminate a spider?

Which left open the question of how soon Tim Moon was going to meet his demise. Nobody had noticed that there hadn't been an actual ruling in last week's trial. The riot that broke

How did the Wonder Twins work. I don't think I ever paid attention to that. One took a form. The other chose a shape? Some of those configurations seem incestuous. Cersei & Jaime?

I wish I had a bathtub. I've got two showers. I love them. You can't, however, soak for hours while the water grows cold but you don't notice because you're right there with it.

I had to boot up my Windows machine today. I booted it up a few seconds after booting this rig up. Windows still isn't ready to be used. It has been ten minutes. I should change it

-ged with a decent dose of caffeine, I would have asked if I could shower, first. On and on she led me through the woods, the burr catching on my nightie, ruining the pattern.

How about "Come to my cooler, you little darlin'" or "Jump on the hook and laugh at George Carlin"? But no, he had been trying to write a serious poem about fishing, not a comedy

First… You take your beef bouillon cube and drop it in a cup of hot water—and I mean hot…not warm. Which means ya gotta run the tap for a couple of minutes; no toilet flushing.

He shouldn’t have taken his foot off the pedal. Then, he was looking over his shoulder; looking through the rearview mirror at what had caught and failed him: his youth.

By the time they were saved from the island they were both Counts of Monte Cristo. Nbody but Kevin and Doug knew how the pipework worked in that whole shebang. The ninja chefs recr