ver Grey overlooking a field of dead yellow grass and weeds. He feared they might get hip to his plan early so he hired a mariachi band to throw them off his "bore to death" plan

stifled a laugh at the enormous dent in my forehead. "Oh yea? That's humorous to you?" I paried. "Listen, I may not own a shovel but I'll take a pretty gnarly spatula to that smirk

per in its refusal to be summoned, and at the worst possible time. (Like whilst trying to impress a fair maiden on the beach). At least water delivers notes in a bottle and mixes w

ss was actually the name of my bar on Telegraph Avenue? Would you visit me then? I shall deny my Marshal Taylor-ness to embrace my Katrina Chochina, if only you would come as Falic

on a Crystal Limoges platter with a colorful array of gizzards and innards strewn about the tableau. "Magnifique!" said the waiter, placing the last fork and flesh carving knife do

xotically. "Anything wrong back there?" my new lover asked. "No, everything's fine. Go back to your plugging." And so he did. And with zeal! Me thinks parking lot has never seen b

But don't start getting all soft on me. This is war! And war means there's nary a moment to lose. Especially no time for all that googily eye wink wink business. No, not in video g

Susie was completely and totally emotionally dead. She was considered a goth, wore nothing but black and was a member of several demonic cults. Her hairy father understood her,

And then #### and ####, immediately hereafterwards, $@@### language happened, and everyone #####ing died.

She thought to herself immediately afterwards, isn’t This just augumented reality? She chortled to herself that she was surprised for a second, put down her demonic phone, and liv-

But luckily for me, I am John The John man, and I can make things trend. I grabbed my kazoo, called upon the power of the mighty U-Kazoo, god of Kazoos, and asked him, may I have

an extremely painful death, or maybe even get eaten by a rabid sea chipmunk. (It is a serious threat you know. Sea chipmunks are very deadly.) So I had to get to land. But of cour-

crowd, which of course came from his supernatural nipples. Jack Curt started crying in Russian, and ran out of the building, to astonished fans, and had a tragic flashback of when

the unspeakable event. The one that killed my great uncle Daphné, and drove my second cousin Fredrica insane. The event that I mean is, of course, the 2019 Naruto fest. It happened

For her pixie sticks, which she always carries around forty of, she has diabetes, you see, and took one and started munching. I only noticed cause she groaned while she was bending

Name of Bigfoots little toe also, which he had wowed her with on many a night. The court case was an absolute disaster. First they had to prove he exists, then prove he'd raped her

Had nails embedded in them. As more of them pierced their way into my buttocks, I became more shoe than man. I decided I'd place a ankle rubbing curse on the class.

proboscis across the table and deposited the fashionably thin semi-conductor onto Robbie's plate. "Danger! Danger, Hathaway!" croaked Robbie as he waved his arms unenthusiastically

tried to put my arm around him for a chummy pose, but Jamie shrank from me unexpectedly. "Sorry, I don't do selfies unless I do them myself," he said before turning to run away.

Blister Boy and Seemingly Sasquatch Man knew The Trapezing Trombonist gang were too much for them on their own, so they had to assemble an ensemble of all their superhero friends.