Then one day I started using it as a prop to get chicks. I would tell them how I had promised always but that didn't mean with cheating whores. She was skimming roughly 15% from my

When I looked back at the road map, I saw how I got here. I also saw where I had gone astray. Where I chose wrong. The mustard stain on the dash regarded me with disdain. I couln't

The ethics of those involved in prophecy work being often questioned, a large number of them joined each other in a loose association of Seers, Clairvoyants, Card Readers, clergy,

I saw that he meant the clouds as a metaphor for how we were floating around in the sky pissing away our sustenance which in turn came back to give us existence."Yeah, go with that

I don't need anybody new to tell me how I'm doing everything wrong. There are a lot of me already. But I was tired and, yeah, maybe I made the wrong choice by winning the lottery.

They call that type of first step a doozy. This was my first lesson. I plummeted to the polluted planet below me. I lost my shit. (Not really, it was returned to me later.) Then,

something about how the car never lived to up the band. But even a broke down Triumph is still a Triumph and I felt better about my hand basket ride. The sheriff didn't agree, of

The city started to take on an ominous tone, like the tabernacle organ you just heard in your mind, only more throatier. It verged on Tibetan chants. Just then a bullet ricocheted

I had to rewrite this one. I didn't like where it went. Talk about a dark forest, I'll wait. I think that I have waited long enough. To continue, the leaflets the government bought

My bones are falling off me. I'm not dead but my bones really are falling apart. They probably name this shit at me, McCandan's Disease. I bet you my father's mother's sister got

-down two-timimng monster that she was. But Megumi's lust for Godzilla went unrequited, for Godzilla had been rendered sterile by the same radiation that had made him gigantic.

grader to ask if he believes you, and if he does, I'll give you a 'Get Out of Hell Free' card." So I told the 2nd grader, but he was skeptical, so Satan came and took me and Gramma

.The film ended with the sneering men assuring the mosquito-bitten girls they'll be o.k. Our principal thundered at the assembly:"Rule #1 for entering any woods: insect repellent!"

I'm ending to think that I set myself up for some nefarious intentions. I'm a Master at self sabetage and I've still got all 3 of my feet & 2 of yours. Not bad for an unmovable ob

I’m close to becoming an unmovable object. I thought I saw an insurrection but it was just someone's shoe. "Honey, who's shoe is this under the bed?"

Well, the guy was hard of hearing and thought the crowd wanted him to do a “barcarole.” Expecting to see a “barrel roll” when instead he broke into song, the infuriated crowd

attitude was strangely calm amid the carnage in the car. But he WAS a pineapple and didn’t usually show emotion. Seeing Lisa’s hacked face, the pineapple thought the perp might be

I bet too many are not going to remember short hand or ditto. Who remembers Zip drives? We didn't have r/watchpeopledie so we watched our gore at school assemblies followed by ice

I was a svelte William Conrad at home in my bachelor pad home office. Al Green was asking us to get it on. My secretary was there taking dictation. Her short hand was to die for.

I explained to Houston the issue, They went back and consulted the material tests. "EV17, we think we might've found the issue. When was the last time you lactated?""WTF Houston?"