Mostly because I'm chuckling to myself over the "69". 69 is nice but I like 77 because you get 8 more. Besides finding out that I was better looking, treading water, & not as dumb

Yeah, you must be talking about Sly Orca. They really know how to whale. I used to do their zine back in the day. Then they went after the money and went pop. They forgot the sea.

managed to keep things between them copacetic, to the benefit of all their larders. Carmine looked over at them from across the bar. Ned & Alfonse were drinking out of human skulls

Bruce was vigorously irrigating the back alley when a surprise small death shuddered through his body and made it's escape from the mouth of his unlooked for O face. The improper

"Have you heard that Gonzo carries the deadly ape virus?" the orangutan whispered. Cheryl stopped necking with Gonzo long enough to ask if this was true, but Gonzo denied

ask Mr. Nondescript if he still has a brain left in his head." "Gee Dad, you're the greatest," Azra replied, his zombie face somber even though his words were filled with gratitude

I had lost my voice. I had lost the right to call a word; any word. I had lost the power to fork my tongue. The only thing I didn't lose was my list of things that i lost. Then one

Michael Jones, a recent initiate into one of India's holiest traditions, adjusted his garland. "Hmm, caper or heist?" the Ninja chief mused as the detective and he sipped coffee.

But if the void looked into me and then kicked my ass, shouldn't I get to kick the void's ass back in return? Turnabout is fair play, or so they say. Maybe if I

I'm going to march right into Britnaynay's house and smash it right into her face for rejecting me. "Happy Eggplant," I'll say as she reaches to wipe the mess from her hair.

Well, it won't, with such an adorable avatar. Just leave this to me, Bucko. So Atom Ant found himself sealed into a pound package of bologna. It was nice and cool in there, but he

-or badgers who only have five bucks to spend on a date. Stripey was quite stingy, in spite of his law practice. He longed to find a thrifty female with which to whelp. He had

Despite copious amounts of the stuff, the venusian blood wasn't quite satisfying Hecate's blood lust. "Maybe because it's yellow," volunteered Reputta from under the dragon's wing.

-atching his attention from the screen. “What?” The boy spoke sharply, cracking open a code red and reaching for the last deliciously-dusty, rouge, corn chip.

Maybe the ghost of my recent past memory was pondering over my head like a guillotine. I have to get over this... This cant be the end of me .... There is more khal drogo inside me

He runs a diner at the edge of towns that don't really have diners. "You might be better off with just 3% and XYZT," Humano Joe will probably advise as he fries up your breakfast.

That fluorescent night, with the moon brightly tarnished, Spiderman decided to inseminate MJ—as she slept—depositing his fertilized silkiness within her Fallopius Buis

their little bodies in neat shapes until they magically disappear. Unfortunately, the little cars underneath the cleared lines tend to get crushed by the ones above them, but that

Oh yes. he would make them all pay (in passive-aggressive ways) for calling him 'Stinky'. He studied for five long years at the Culinary Institute of America just so he could spit

Filipino coconut salesman boyfriend, Christian Mercado, on a raft trip around the world; or, at least, that’s the story told by Grandma’s “goodbye” letter. She could be dead; then,