Don't ask me where the slow purple learned to duck crawl, because I'm still trying to get my head around a hard-working cat. That'll be the day. The slow purple was so slow that

I dream that I dream this every night. The dream that couldn't dream itself was a lonely dream, by all accounts. I'm told this dream once romanced Rudolph Valentino & Brad Pitt on

The cat thought me tamed & I could live with that. For now. I was rewarded with all the usual pleasures, virtues, vices, & women who knew their way around a whip. When the vice was

him well enough, so I had to deal with his horrendous dad jokes for the rest of the night. When he walked into the room, he immediately started scanning the room for a table to

swears has the ability to fix any disease that I could conjure or possess. This doesn't stop my hands from shaking as I write this, alas, so I hope this is a legible account of

monopoly on the entertainment industry; not out of evil or greed but because the Ringwraiths are known for putting on the best shows physically possible, so I, of course, will be

onto one polished leather shoe and he curses loudly. A young mother in the queue glares at him and covers the ears of her toddler. The monsters waiting behind the man are restless.

to the ribs would need to be undone, and the organs beneath put back together. There wasn't much he could do about the twisted ankle so he left it at that and resurrected the body.

brain started to forget his native language. But the worst effect of his Opposite Curse was when he wanted to cuddle his baby daughter. Instead of picking her up, his body would

He fumbled for a pen with his decaying hand, but one gangrenous finger dropped off and landed on the desk. Lt. Zombie looked at the gruesome digit, then popped it into his mouth.

the ornate mirror. His reflection wasn't crying, as he was; in fact, a slow, sinister smile crept across its face. A chill of fear raced down his spine like an icy water droplet.

I thought it odd for it being the witching hour. Where was the din of the world? This wasn't the blue hour, so where were the birds. Perhaps it was what I could hear that mattered.

not do that but to follow his bliss. He soon realized that raking in an infinite supply of monetary funds WAS his bliss and he got back on that bandwagon. He started by passing off

I thought I was singing over the body of Electra, who I am told was a farrior's fishwife. Instead I was saying grace, & Your Grace, & Your Majesty. Begrudgingly, I also had to say

a house tengu appeared in his capsule. Hrengor was used to this by now. He hadn't been the 1st time he'd seen a tengu appear in his capsule. Anyway, Hrengor explained to the tengu

Electrogravitix presents our new Caviar series. Arrays of smaller EG nodes provide greater lift and propulsion for less power, and require less shielding for more efficient ship

hard caramelized topping was yet intact, and damed if the Creme Brulee King would have it shattered by the likes of the Chicken Chariot's lowly Stanley. So the princess was locked

-strated by croaking on the bathroom floor, alongside the body of my college buddy, Buddy. So now I had two dead bodies to deal with, and the toilet still hasn't been properly

I thought I had a unique perspective on this whole becoming whole situation. I do but not any more unique that anybody else's perspective. That is so unfair to me. I'm the only one

I've always had weird cravings on my period;this time I coveted tin foil pizza.That damn thing cut my lip! Now I was bleeding from more than one place and those mechanical crickets