"I've heard of it." "How can you have heard of it if I just made it up right now?" "I guess I must have heard it from you then." "Oh yeah, you were here. Lets go foist it somewhere

Luckily I suffered with munchausen syndrome by proxy and I had my proxy do my dreaming for me. So I got Kimberly when she was a woman of my dreams. Proxy got her as nightmare man.

The accuracy or veracity of what I am about to say is beyond question. It is also beyond answer. Lets just say it is beyond and leave it at that. All that also applies in here. If

My cats wore me out. They were the hit of the party. The only pithy thing that Meowlle could come up was to compare my eyes to a full moon after a couple baby mice. My cats purred.

I took my meds a while ago. I guess I should really look into that whole breakfast thing. It doesn't seem all that cool now that there is actual work involved. My will is still in

The Chipmunks starting chanting "One Sub-Ohm Tank to rule them all, for dry, oil, or wax." Hermione & Arwen combined their powers into wielding a flying Excalibur in Batman's face.

My longevity solution was to add water. I just had to get that down before I forgot it.

I do not take this descent into solipsism lightly. I know what kinds of traps I've most likely left myself. One thing I know is that as much as I want to know myself, somethings I

you're sane?" I tried to also let the universe write this but I can't work that way. I have to place each word carefully. I want to know why it is there before I put it there. This

muffins voraciously and power walking with his booty out to burn off those carbs hun, mmkay? By the time he had finished the muffins, he sported six pack abs and a hot bod to

one thing Veronica before I show you the backside of my chancla!" Veronica just looked at me with such hatred that I knew that I had raised my baby right! I smiled and she angry sm

you remember me?” I asked her hopefully. “Why of course! You’re the kind waiter who offered to drive me home from Chipotle after I was accosted by ruffians.” Linda replied. “Uhh...

“But we need you!” the Officer insisted. Det.Manatee sighed and took out the pipe from his mouth. He gazed longingly out of the window. “I left that line of work long ago...” he

to bring out the guillotine. The teacher judged each assignment, and anything less than an A would get the block. “Pathetic.” she whispered, as the blade sliced clean the sheaf of

The third folder put his foot down and scoffed at the folders above him. He used a quantum computer and guffawed at the thought of using anything less to fold stories.

want a free lu-uuunch," he sang. I rolled my eyes. "Um, duh," I said. "You didn't think I was going out with you because I liked you, did you? Poor thing." He looked sadly at the

Oh, wait, never mind. The women and sheep from both countries have joined forces and overthrown both of our military forces. So, this peace talk is defunct, really. All hail our

and the paranormal to stop me thinking about quantum physics. I'd be creeping through cemeteries and abandoned houses with a torch, but my mind would be solving complex equations.

and then coated in layers of laundry soap. The only thing more effective at removing unwanted odours would be to literally bleach the insides of your nostrils! Air Kick, buy now!

, and let me tell you, nothing good ever comes out of there with that color. I then spent the next hour boiling my hand in a pot on the stove, sobbing hysterically to become clean