grill, making her carefully crafted shish kebabs she termed Shish Kebabs a la Todd, named after her imaginary friend. All the lab rats enjoyed the variety of a good kebab, and so

turned on it’s head when she seduced him and then revealed she was his long lost daughter that he had thought dead when he threw her into a vat of liquid nitrogen. She had a spoon

When finally got into there it was crazy. The GPS told us to turn right at this street but it ran right into the Security Wall. We couldn't get around in Jerusalem because of the o

an army of ants taking the chocolate trail away & back to the anthill at double time. Sure enough when they followed the chocolate footprints they came upon an army of ants taking

and the Black hole would have eat it. What she never realized, nor would she ever, was that her heart was the Black Hole. More importantly, her heart was the Black Whole. Atonement

eternally dry, thereby seeking lonely chapsticks to prey upon. A tumblrer is someone who can’t help but tumble down staircases for comedic effect. A Whatsapper is someone who

She stopped mid-think and had an Eureka moment. She had finally thought of a good enough name for her yet-to-be-born-baby, and announced it to the universe. ”Galactus!” she shouted

before they quitened down. The lead speaker cleared his throat and announced, “It has been unanimously decided that we shall name its satellite, ‘Dickus’.” The IAU applauded,

with whatever tiny desert creature had taken up home in his navel. (The creature was winning, as it had curled up in there to die, but Barnes didn't know that. Tom's vulture glided

I am indifferent to pineapple on pizza. I have no strong opinion on Trump. I am the average person, meaning that in reality I'm no one, but a balanced mixture of everyone. I; Joe

It's all too...chaotic. There needs to be reform I say, REFORM! Lets start by equipping each folder with a mind-controlling helmet, of which I am in control. A hive-mind of folders

had once again ruined the day. If only he hadn't published that post his coach would have esteemed him. But now all he had was damage control to do, and on the basketball court

fully wrapped in the fat from the collar of a pig. "So much for a toast to our deceased friend Howard" mumbled C.A.S. as his glottologist friend grumbled about the alcohol choices.

Civility would be nice. To sit down for dinner and to have respectful conversation. This is what our country needs again... civility.

people out of our country! We are also not fond of those wearing polka-dots. If we have the chance we enslave them because they are too smart for their own good. Just like those

She labored on her hands and knees, crawling on the ground acting like she was looking for a lost contact. People started to gather. Soon others were on their hands and knees.

How to make a new friend when you really don't want to. 1. Put Vaseline on your nose and a cotton ball on top of the Vaseline. Then walk around with superglue and a cotton ball. 2

There once was a tortoise with a blue head and a plaid shell. It was painted that way by my obnoxious younger brother Ramona. Yes, "Ramona" with an "a." He was always up to

Did you ever smell the inside of my sister's shoes?

Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. My mother would often say there was no point in making up a story, because the truth was unbelievable enough. And for our family truth