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I would know Hugh Hefner's habits, and just when he wasn't looking, I would grab the poison from my apron pocket and slip it into his martini. But my huge boobs were a problem.
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clumsiness?" I offered. "Clumsiness is not a sin!" the demon spat at me in disgust. "Er, I mean... uh... indecision!" The little beast stroked it's goat-beard as it considered this
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one, to camouflage myself with the nuclear waste. Actually, make it red, with bright orange stripes... That'll deter the mutants from attacking me for sure. Laredo shouldn't have
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"Jesus, Birdie" the passenger cried, hanging onto his hat in the open-topped vehicle, "must you drive so bally fast?" "Bobby, if we don't get this info to London today, Hitler will
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Hello Everyone, welcome to my guide on how to appropriately scratch your balls in public places. Step 1: Look around to make sure no one is watching.
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My dance routine was abruptly stopped short as I shot up into the sky. My body morphed and got fatter until I was a big burning mass of fire in space. A literal star! Err now what?
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did you know that a Hedgewitch can influence your emotions, she can make to enemies fall in love.
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of the Clones-R-Us members removed her brain and inserted it into my clone. Also he said I was under arrest, a suggestion I'm sure, after all, the police have no authority, right?
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Consensus Management held elections today. P. Ennis won president; Willie Stroker, vice president B. J. Worthy, secretary; Dixie Normous, treasurer; and Phat Ho, communication dire
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Not quite Darrel any more, he is now known as The Goobernator. Oh, he still burns the family diapers (Paw-paws' and the babies' pullups) in a rusty oil drum in the back yard,
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She gave me a look that begged the question of which delusion we harbored the best. I couldn't get my eyes to adopt the smile I was flashing when she said that. I mean, looked that
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It was the orange juice. The very orange juice I had been drinking since I got here. I picked up my glass of OJ. I held it up to my face so that I could get a better look. "Are you
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Those buffalo girls keep going around the inside, around the outside, around the taint but none has come to see my salt-lick yet. It wasn't like this the last time I was here. Back
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I'm back. For the umpteenth time, at least. I might have made orange juice on a grand scale. A whole production number with Rockettes, mermaids, unrequited likes & unfriending. To
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I was talking to her for 23 iterations before I realized that she had somebody sitting with her on the other side of the bar. No matter what she did, I just couldn't see him. "You
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Railroad Channel. You've seen this. It is great but you don't have the time. It is the 321 Express :Norsk to Oslo. You surf on over to the DIY Surgery Channel. How to remove your
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"The problem is that you refuse to keep out of people's heads." "It is free space. It isn't being used. My head space is full to the hereafters. Why do they care what I do with the
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Every morning that Flip woke up he would beat himself up over it. How can he stop this from happening to himself?
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Pearl threw herself to the pavement. Or collapsed. I don't know. I was looking at the Manson Mansion, across the street. She was behind me while we crossed the motel's parking lot.
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I somewhat put out that I couldn't find whatever it was I was looking for. I knew it was here in front of me. I didn't see it. What did it look like? What was I looking for? Like