Pele' kuahuabuawouldwanttobeya. A reluctant savior, but a savior just the same. I didn't want it and I don't know how to save anybody, least of all me. So, you can see these people

and solving crimes on the side. They called her Sergeant Pepper because she lived in a Pepper patch on the edge of the parish. That dog was lonelier than an ass whipping at a nut

It never occurred to me question my sanity, so I deemed that an appropriate answer. It wasn't an airplane. It was an intercontinental ballistic missile. It was headed for my house.

it was in the form of a purple diamond (rather than being orange). The villagers worshiped the Orange One every night at dusk. No photos were to be taken of it. Ever. Or else

I finally faced the threat. The threat was me. It wasn't a threat I had been feeling but a premonition from the future that I was coming to see me in my time to keep me from doing

lab partner. What was Keith doing out in the Sahara desert? I ran up to him, and he asked me the same question. I said "I'm looking for the French Foreign Legion. What are you

Doctor Igor threw the switch on the giant Tesla Coil. Instantly, the air tingled all around the slab at the center of Patient X's room. Patient X was glowing but still comatose.

of Sunday Bowling?"Polo is the gentlemen's game, you wouldn't know it." "But good Sir, I feel that you are biting your thumb at me. How so, I ask myself. I don't know you. My guant

was still cashing his disability checks. His trust account was still paying exorbitant amounts of money for his housing at Serene Palms Resort Rest Homes. Captain App married a loc

stream of consciousness Bersonian deconstruction hit pieces at reality. More specifically, his a priori understanding of the underwire’s engineering. His last treatise, The Toes of

"No, don't make me the leader, I'm just a comedian" said Dave, but we voted him down and made him the leader, anyway. He tried to run away from us, but we followed him, for he was

... when you get a bit of turtle shell stuck between your front teeth. But I'm not going to point that out to you, for fear that you will take it as a criticism of your impeccable

At first that maybe I never saw the word "Camelot." But then I realized that I must've accidentally gone into the future by mistake, and was seeing THIS finished story! I ran to

but I could not. I HAD to eat children! Real children, real flesh and blood. Especially the kids who play Fortnight! I ran into town to eat some kids, but there was a group of cops

with a stiff breeze made my head go fwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwap, much to the dismay of the other passengers of the double decker. "Dude! Where is your skull?" one guy asked me.

Betty was then too busy fighting off the termites with only half a wooden foot that she didn't notice that somebody had snuck into her kitchen and replaced her coffee with Folgers.

rash doing to the decor of my bathroom. Making it clash, that's what. But I don't have any time to deal with that. I've got to thunder a bit in the dark for the sake of appearances

I saw the light in my mind. my head. my brain. my spleen. It is always the spleen with this guy.

"Dad, did you really have to bring up the funk foot story when Jessica was here. I really like her. I think that story might make her think we're weird & she'll break up with me."

Coalescence wasn't happening. Happening wasn't happening. That is how bad it was. Then this cat, Satan, comes in and starts opening the drapes and then the windows. "It is funky in