"Oh we don't have to go that far," she said from behind him. "I can meet you half way," she said and plucked both his eyes out. The vending machine comes to mind and she smiles.

Colin was about to argue against that characterization of him but he when he looked around it seemed the other pub patrons felt the same. So Colin shut his fat mouth & watch footb

ther Buffbiff was wondering if you might recant your story by Vespers or if he needs to start looking for a new lamp oil salesman." The pain of the manacles kept me from answering.

t though. It is funny for me. I'm known for my anus. So what? We've all got one and a lot of people are assholes. So what?" I liked her candor and asked if I could caress her bare

on't you dare press that Red Button or you'll not get a banana at 2nd breakfast." By this time Bilbo was beyond heeding my warning or even his Space Chimp 4000 programming. He put

and my eyes are up there." "Damn babygirl, you know I need those chairs because we're sinking. I am not stealing. I am surviving and it is best if you thought to do the same. Pluck

"Just make sure he doesn't swallow or bite his tongue & mind he doesn't have a fit on the good furniture. If he does there will be Hell to pay & you know what that means for Vinny.

the town jail. I ran free of the other kids that had been watching & I got the watch he'd had to leave behind. It wasn't a watch after all. It was but it was also a handcuff. The

I thought it might have been Dirk Dently, but I couldn't say that. Could I. The man in the moon told me something long ago, when I was bright. He said, "Its ending one day and you

conjure up a good enough excuse for him to do so. Which, of course, she couldn't. And yet here the deputy was. Ever since Stanger Things came out, the sheriff got spooked at every

Boy Toy de Jour on call that morning was Trent but he claimed to be spent. We called in the supernumerary, Omar Peck. This was before the steidle device. Long before. Omar had been

Some say that I overuse the comma. I have to. It is the only way I can get to a chameleon; after a bunch of commas. Their skin can be red, green and gold, red green and gold. Boy

I got a little bit grabby and she didn't stop me. "You don't need to steal anything in here Miss Manners, it already belongs to you." I meant something else but there it was in the

refused to let go of Miley's legs. She finally just left her pants behind and climbed on the wrecking ball buck naked. I still have those jeans and panties somewhere in the barn.

ion like another John with a short fuse, which he was. He lambasted the audience for falling for the fake John. Nothing is as simple as being just porcelain. He, like all of us,

I asked the Cosmic Consciousness to consign me to the brig but they refused. "Look CC," I said. "I know you know who I am so you know that I am good for it. Come on CC, cut me some

I heard thunder and I thought, "could the thought bring the thunder?" To test this theory I needed an Earth like Planet that was spherical and located in a perfect vacuum. I asked

I think where I was going with this one. Probably down some sordid street in forbidden knowledge. I don't know. Perhaps a maybe is in store for my future. It could happen. I guess.

Really got over the mountain in her red pajamas but she came! Oh man, she came alright. She came down like an avalanche and buried all us sinners in her slime. Make way for the Who

when they were kids because when Petro had kicked him in the ass it had felt like three toes not five. Petro has been "Three-toed" ever since. A wise guy can't just retire & walk a