care where they ended up and how much it would cost me. How could it cost me I'm making money. I should've wondered but I didn't. Nobody else did either. What does it matter a Man

The answer, of course, was Kevin Bacon. Not Francis or Roger, but Kevin. Kevin rated a 6. Twice as much as sex.

I hate the sulfuric, egg smell of it. I wanted to gag right there. But I had to keep it together, I didn't want anyone to know that I was afraid of dirty water

have some sense and carry on with his, her, or its life. I want this being to know - who ever continues this thought - he/she/it is not alone. I bequeath you my personal slogan:

"This sex robot has an oddly specific way of asking to smoke," I thought. "Sure, knock yourself out." It lit up a cigarette beside me in bed, servos whirring. "But *why*?"

It was strange, they would listen to machinery grinding while jumping up and down wildly. The kids praised car crash and Michael Bay explosions. This was a religion?!

However, my stoic ways forbid any such inquiry... Unless I get my hands on some top class nike shoes, and a dance trainer.

But we weren't going to pay for it because of political reasons we wouldn't go into when asked. We were outlaw pizza stealers, like Robin Hood and his merry pizza faces we roamed

I am prized by the gods, who know me as Chaddus- the human who does not give a crap. I am very refreshing to them. I kick them in their celestial 'nads and make rude noises when

to do as they were told, even if it meant cardiac arrest for the entire class. Well, we all laughed about it later in the teacher's lounge before we were sent to jail for

Easy. I would spike the Vagisil that those poor chickens were using on their feathered extremities and then the evil overlord would have a heck of a time getting them to nest.

spoke about their destination in hushed tones; always just out of hearing. Clymenestra called it the Songline. She explained the Tinker's tale of The Lost and Last Song. She cried.

So it was his name was declared to the nation, a nation in turmoil. A nation that only the greatgreatgreatgrandginger of Qwufdy could pilot through the perilous waters to Ararat IV

ity outside the pram. Grown but still in infancy. The reason for the war was a bowl of Chinese Chow Mein Soup, which was high on MSG and addictive.

Out in the open he went, Winne the Pooh was not looking.

out in his yard by the rubber tree. The banana and the rubber tree grew side by side for many years and blossomed together until one day it occurred to him that the two trees

It turns out that they were fine, as were your '79s and '80s, but your '90s were a little rough on your hair. All that gel weighed it down and made it fall out into the grave

male business with their scantily clad dames, but women were not so keen to give their money to the winking broads on the screen. "I don't think so, ho," they replied as they left

breakfast spreads. She especially liked the ginger marmalade. Good old Grape Jelly was no match for the fancier spreads, and it fumed in the fridge until it grew mould and she had

-t one rip so hard that her mini skirt flew up in back. "Let that fix your little red wagon, you sexist jerk," she snarled as he gasped for air, "Women are not a commodity." With