"...like no one ever was." Air whipped his hair as he sped down an empty road. Just a biker, a road to nowhere and nostalgia."To catch them is my real test..."

The thick, well-groomed handlebar mustache was the prime shape for mustache-walking, as the long tendrils of hair on each side made excellent makeshift legs.

"Tell us more about the Shrieking Spaghetti!" cried one. "No, no, I want to hear about the Perilous Penne!" said another. "What about the Monstrous Macaroni?" came the query.

"It's the Plague!" I shrieked, watching in horror as the frog's leg appeared from my father's mouth. Swamp slime dribbled down his chin as the frog wriggled back to fresh air.

"Alright, Bob, alright - calm down!" Fred put a hand over Bob's mouth to stop him ranting. "Which part of the script is wrong?" he asked. Bob pulled Fred's hand away. "The axes!"

beheaded after only a week of duty. Most managed about a week and a half, so it was quite a disappointment. The Queen of Hearts boiled with fury, her face as red as her namesake.

get under our bark more. When they're not mutilating us to declare their undying love, they're pissing on us or worse hanging themselves in us. But there is this one treehugger

Tony used to be a good kid, if a bit scrawny. Then he'd gotten himself involved in that whole mess and suddenly everyone had turned against him. The truth, however, was different.

Not to mention the weird cheesy smell that clung to her and her strange habit of hanging pictures at an angle. She had the uncanny ability to both disgust and intrigue you when

I ain't no coward! Come at me bruh. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries! I only said that with the hope that copywight didn't count in the afterlife.

. For now, I'm good- cuz of the collection of nuclear warheads hidden behind a secret panel in my room. Dad often says: "Hon, there's something off about our kid." Sticks & stones.

Austentaciousness is one of the minor cardinals, and unbecoming of a demon in my position. Schadenfreude is more my cup of scalding tea. So when I caught Mammon embezzling

Was the title of the space alien's book. This wasn't like that Twilight Zone episode, "To Serve Man." "To Kill Earth Itself" is unequivocal: to kill dirt. Dirt isn't alive anyway.

The previous Yuniki prototype had glitched and attracted too much attention. VB867-D had to keep her visibility centers running, or she’d be scrapped too.

the judges would stun her! She hunched over the cauldron, furiously stirring the liver into the thick broth. She reached for a handful of nutmeg and sprinkled it in too.

until it begins to simmer. Then, add salamander blood, snail shells taken from a snail during the full moon, the head of a sloth from Madagascar, and some ginger.

These were the words of the wall-com embedded in the ceiling of Trivaz's prison cell. Not wanting to disobey orders and receive a painful shock, Trivaz recited the number "839."

The leprechauns had told stories me. To the dryads, I was a legend. That was before I really got to work. I’ve enslaved all of the magical creatures... almost.

weary old crab, decided to retire from my franchise. The Krabby Patties were becoming acidic and toxic from the pollution, and we had no solution to it.

No... that’s not it. It looks like... the goose shot you? But... that has to be wrong. The goose squawks, but the squawk sounds like a language. “I caught a big one, Fred!”