That's what I kept telling the people in white coats. I know what you're thinking: say something once, why say it again, but I had to convince them that my actions were justifiable

there is no such thing as fate or destiny, because predetermined fate is worse than the idea that there is no meaning in this universe at all, and god this is full of it.

of the funeral parlor.My arm went slack from the embalming fluid. Curses.If they find my wallet next to the body they'll think I,Ed the Fork killed the embalmer not Mack the Knife!

smash the front teeth into his gabbing puss as much as ever. Course I bit my tongue.Gramps could still whip both our asses even at 82 & Grandma didn't stand for a ruckus at family

snacks. He'd feel mighty peckish after a Walkendoodle! "...or maybe I'll have a Perkin's White Lightning or Banshee Witchbrew IPA?" but he still hadn't found a decent spot to whiz.

ly airbrushed wrinkles & the wiles of being a cougar's boytoy,but her feline charms didn't stop me from becoming a cheetah running after a young bunny who was dating Charles Hefner

These things are important. "Everytime a bell rings, an angel gets its wings." No, its just the reverberation of sound waves of metal against metal. Be pratical people.

and the great Genie of Rice appeared. He was furious. "Now see what you've done! You've turned us from rice to gravel! Ye shall die by stoning with the very rice ye defiled!" he

time prepositionally dangling participle gerunded my noun phrase. I don't want to get preperfect past future subjunctivitis do I? As an old pro of the old school grammar school

the cats of our mice-be-gone Op set upon everything that moved.I kept still.The catfight tore up the apartment & the last cat, now a fat paunched tabby,took a nap.The mice returned

When Hanne was a little girl the thing she feared the most was that her blanket would fall off her bed while she was on it. She got scared if more than six inches hung down over an

The draughtsman‘s daughter double dog dared me to douse a dragon in duck sauce or drop dodo dumplings directly into the dour dowager’s dental dams. Delightedly, I did.

habit became a habit. Mother Superior did a little holier than thou jig to ward off the bogarts as she passed the back pews, but just behind the confessional

I want to raise the Hand of Chjingi on top of the ruins of this upstart. This so called general, this Custer. All the promises of the past/future will not deter me from his destruc

anxious fore if mama didn't get her meds it sure was to be a whippin for me.That couldn't happen I got the tiny joke of a pharmacist and let him know that

pounded the purple Porsche pleasantly. Soon she began to see souls slip through slits in her skin. Alliterateration alternately affects and acknowledges awkward attendance at

Lets face it...you ain't a real American unless you've spent some time in jail...and you've got a mugshot that makes you look like you're a homeless bum...yup...locked up.

he had played Super Mario too often? Life had become a slithery slope, a zany, mushroom popping platform, trapdoor nightmare. The Mastermind's King Koopa was in fact his arch nemes

Shang-Shang-Alang4 shimmied in, wearing a sparkling green evening gown, followed by three male backup singers in tuxedos. Jaws agape, Dang-Ding-a-Lang3 and MyDing-a-Ling2 watched

"We are so not into Rimsky-Korsakov," the irate native people informed me, "Don't you know any Philip Glass?" Luckily, I managed a decent move from "Koyaanisqatsi" on the bones,