You might say she had lucky charms. "Top o' the mornin' to you," Candy would say every day. Finally Ms. Benton wanted to know what the secret was. She asked to borrow a cup of

If I told you that I love you that would be weird because I don’t even know you Reader.

the big oaf blew her away. Oh great, the newly bald dandelion sighed heavily but tried again, "Mr. Gorilla, would you please pass me that leaf over there?" Then - chomp! Suddenly

s from a guitar hold the universe together. Whenever a string snaps, cosmic sea monkeys scamper to the scene and do repairs. They sometimes are distracted by a passing meteoroid

There is no prophet behind the prophecy of you because there is no profit.

clown-faced ski mask with super easy-to-follow instructions included in the DIY Burglary Kit. People will take only one look at it before throwing valuables your way. Next

and behind me walked my mother, re-folding all the layers of the infinite scarf. "Quit it, Ma, I'm not a baby any more. I do my own folding!" But she just tugged on my fu manchu

My mouse pad has informed me that it has feelings too. It doesn't like being used as a drink coaster and will cry all night if left in a strange place. If you don't want predators

for a play to pull into for the night, a place to comfortably sleep, hopefully a place with free cable and a swimming pool. A few more minutes pass before we see a faded sign

bother the neighbors too much when Rafi our giraffe eats up all of their organic produce, was what I thought after I put him to bed for the night. Lil Em wanted to sleep outside

"My name is King. I came from the land down under. To Fuck." She announced to her fleet as they were beginning their 85th planet invasion. Bartavius Roman grinned at the army...

My Dad drove me there, by a roundabout route & lots of u-turns & lane changes to throw off followers. It was opening day at Smithers Middle School for Spies,& we had to look sharp.

My producer nodded in hard approval at my hard-hitting lyrics to my upcoming release, entitled "that's pretty soft". I gave my chest a hearty pat, preparing myself for the cypher.

on Oprah. Her audience was appalled by the brandings on me: "We march!" When Farmer Moe saw the mob coming, he acted all innocent & changed his sign to: "Moe's Tat Salon for Cows".

it's still dark, but overhead LEDs offer ample illumination. I can't figure out how I didn't see that cyclist wearing the glowing tights and helmet. "Hallo!" I tripped hard

He never planned for the future without consulting his fledgling astrologer:"The sonic forces have spoken. Problem is, Lord Sonic, you're always hedging. You must let yourself go!"

on, avant garde jazz influenced record and we're calling it "Awkward Stag at The Disco Party" featuring guest vocals by Ian MacKaye on 2 tracks. But we kicked out our rhyth basooni

Glyph-Cipher but you can call me Vajg. We haven't had a new girl in here in ages. Did the Motherhouse send you? I ask because we have seen some true believers. We have to see to th

And he was practicing his languages in close quarters at her "Why?". From her words I gathered it was some sort of spiritual ritual that called for a litany of OMG FUCK YES OMG OMG

Pink can't explain Elder Wishes. "They just are & then something or someone activates one & all hell breaks loose. But only those on its back can see the commotion: the rest see th