-iny Cricket and telling the mold to turn it down up there, so I crawled out of bed and out to the fuse box, where I shut off the power. For a minute or so, there was silence.

kisses and hugs and farted a lot. I'd always found it weird that our flatulence was only prominent in the festive season. That didn't stop the neighbours complaing, though!

I am pretty sure I have given you a rough outline of my contract with the demon Whatshisname and the part I have bestowed upon you in it. It is time to know the particulars. You

She started listing evidences she had found in the burnt car, and I helped her write them down. "There's three bodies in the vehicle, one of them was just a child." she said.

big fire at her house," said Leo. We continued to my house and, another few hours later, I felt a guilty pang inside of me. Everything I had done with that girl. It was only a joke

She laughed coquettishly. "Au contraire, Fool, you've made your bed. Now we must lie in it." Then the camera shows nothing but handfuls of hay being thrown upwards for 90 seconds.

So you see-" "Silence! I care nothing for sacrifice. Are you telling me I'm a website?" I flicked him away before he could answer. I felt nothing like a website. I felt imperious.

then turned his back on him, saying, "there is no place in heaven for machines." "God doesn't love me," wept Thomas the train. Then all his moving parts froze up from lack of oil.

I think it's cause we all live in different constructed realities.Some of us need to project our nasty id as buggiemen out in the real world to fight.So xenophobia is an imaginary

the light. It sparkled. It had wings. It was horned. "This" said the beggar was Henry VIII's codpiece. My mom seemed interested and took over negotiations. "Trade for a cucumber?"

that sweet young cockatoo is an opioid addict working the pole at the "Bare Assets" club in the deep dark Orlando ghetto. THAT is what Trump tweets do to a bird, and lizards, too!

Fatso's Pizza made the best Sicilian pie in all of Apalachicola. So, when they went out of business, I got really depressed and took it out on my pet gerbil, Oscar. I called him a

ange drunken man saw Jessie's performances and said "hey man, i bet i could dun' sing bettr' then you can," So the saloon turned into a singing competition: Jessie v. the Stanger.

mutant vampire. After infecting the vampire, baby ecoli grew in size exponentially, and was soon a macroscopic beast that would destroy all the humans and vampires on the face of

walked up and said "Sorry, we're increasing our price to $30 dollars per gallon. It's one of Truman's new laws - a price floor." This new Truman guy was worse than Trump! I wished

But they are not places where cats should be roaming. No, the cat's biome is not the beach. Rather, it is the jungle, where they can roam free and rub their scruffy fur against

Lexoram Mark 7 was a tax robot in San Francisco, back when we used human names for their settlements. It was aware of the silliness of the bean-counting involved in its programming

In the year 2117, Anadet opened a cypress chest bequeathed to it by one of its makers, in the rotting real world of Earth Prime. Anadet found some writing and learned how. Blok's

l like ear: Plastics." I smiled & nodded as if I understood. I didn't until One, Other & Extra melded into OOE, who towered terrifyingly over me, stomping at me like I was a bug.

slapped me around the face with a newly topped up oyster card. It was for a different underground system on a different continent but pointing that out might anger her more. I trie