the local aquarium to bring in more customers. Blasted Heath actually enjoyed being in the tank. His soft pink matter floated gently in the current. Normal brains couldn't enjoy

"Abadaa deep deep deep deedle doo doo, I wanna walk like you, talk like you-

Bismellah was given Garlic bread. Great powers grew within her and she forged twenty rings of

I was riding a winged brontosaurus that had golden pink hair and green feather-scales. Everyone was feeling jelly

Truculent, noctilucent, and tumescent: It's rare you find the need to combine these three adjectives to describe something. This one time

This jerk was in line kept telling us to "know our place" when it was a serve yourself line. He kept berating my relative So I grabbed my artichoke machete

3 pupils of the Evangelist Primary School in the northern Nigerian town of Maiduguri rushed into the headmistresses office and said that a fellow pupil had been transformed into a

'13.8 billion, yes please, my house' responded the smart-arse 19 year old. He sat back in his swivel chair smirking at his own 'genius', awaiting the response from...whoever it was

out the door, quickly walking away. 'Don't worry about it' she told herself. 'If it wasn't meant to be on, why did it look so important?'. 16 seconds later, a loud thud was heard f

laying down. Having left their minds at the Tech Tuesday presentation, their bodies were happy just lying in the sun on the lawn all day on Wonderful Wednesday. They didn't miss

But, since I did have a façade, it made it easy to change into a pretty boy when I was away from my family. And I wanted it that way, but my gorgeous sister had other ideas.

except, perhaps, your own cannabis-growing business, from which you earn enough money to purchase Catalina Island and you turn it into a Pleasure Island where people flock to

Of course, just because I hear you doesn't mean I'm listening. People talk at me all day: their fat jaws chumping up and down like my ear was a piece of gum; chewing it off and

E/x². Capt. Kinetic Energy had the definition of the spring constant tatooed on his wiry chest & when Miss Potential Energy tag-teamed him into the ring he raced toward Perpetua

nil but performance was A as his parrot secretary screened calls 100% of the time. "Braaaawk! Fowl Answering Service." "May I speak to-" "The boss is busy the boss is busy<squawk>"

"Independence Day: Garlic Bread Armageddon" and that has made all the difference. You've probably heard the catchy theme music "Breadstick Rhapsody"

! I said it as the clerk paid out my settlement. A cool 10 grand stacked up neatly in hundreds. She started to put them in envelopes. "Never mind I'll just put'em in this paperbag.

"I like them because they are good shorts," Jeffery explained. "They are comfortable and repel water and are a good color and I like them." He forced a smile. "And they are mine."

the crate, followed by a hearty woof. "Is- is that a bear?" I laughed, but the laugh was forced like a bad burp. The container shifted again. "RNGHFF." Said the box.

Your red leotard is redtarded. One-Legged King Pigeon yoga pose? More like Attention-Begged Commoner yogurt squeeze," he taunted mrbombastic. Maybe not his best taunt, but at least