over as a barista, tax accountant and parlour magician who was "curious" about twilight dating. Then he texted her: "Nightclan all the way." That Midday mole poser! she thought. Cl

erself on one of the sharp racks and was threatening to sue Mr. Custard who had invested in Walmart stocks so much he now owned half the company. Mrs. Wong hired a lawyer who

T to dance the chicken dance in front of the sexy beast men's club. Man was this all a dream? Had those extra z pills affected my judgment? I had to sit down but the tub looked lik

That cat, straight out of the Cradle, had his paw on the pace of the planet. He didn't mouse around about it either. He put on his big kitty boots and leapt at the chance to best

We were the only rocks in the ocean of and that was tossed from shore to shore Gilgajovenescity and pi eventually found jobs elsewhere but I remained here for the fortune tellers

Baby blue. She was the oldest burlesque dancer in the world. Tangerine Tyrant watched her like watching a train wreck. Little did he know while all her wrinkles wiggled in the safe

the unwanted hero. How ridiculous can this story get? A super techy nerd offered to revise it. He sold the torrid tale of naked space aliens at the super bowl wars to a

Thank goodness that Lizzie Beth just happened to have a get out of the Grammies free card. She turned it in and went to see the world's best vocal chords expert. He recommend a

terrace & even agreed to shine my shoes once I introduced myself as Carlos Leon. He shot me just because after the 4th shine I told him he missed some poop- & they locked ME up! I

naughty... wait, am I talking to myself?" Watson frowned & tried to remember if Sherlock had made good his threat to shoot him up last night with cocaine to prove it wasn't bad for

even my x-ray vision couldn't make out if Lois was having a threesome or the two ladies had double-teamed that dude in a mud wrestling match. Hating the suspense I smashed thru the

... holy crap! Sitting the corpse in a wheelchair with a blanket, & a stocking over her face, I rushed to the ER. "This lady, wishing to remain anon., will sell her rare AB- blood

Calling Birdman, they found a dead foot that couldn't hide. All the shoes with spats blame themselves. There's the 3 o'clock Bullet to Blu's Court on Pluto to bear witness that it

Lewis Grolshak stormed into the "Rec" room demanding somebody cough up his The Blue Magoos LP that had gone missing from his dorm room just now. "You ain't seen nothing", he said

In translating the teachings of General Custer from the original Martian dklopii I have taken as my warning Gen. Custer's admonishment to the Serenity 3 Survivors (Rev 14.321): Say

house out of slag-balls...do you want to dodge the smoldering hoof...on the halcyon days of..." "Pipe down out there!" a raspy voice bellowed. "I'm trying to hibernate for crying

...and it wildly turned me on. Those headphones she wore looked like DDD silicone breast implants, and her humming caused my vas deferens to dance in merriment. Oh, how I loved

get out of my light so I make this putt. The fate of the Multiverses rides on this putt. That is what Bagger Vance told me this morning over coffee at the Lansing Holiday Express.

whatever that was that just killed you. You were too busy looking at the woman breastfeeding that you didn't notice your food was trying to escape your clutches. You might have ove

I noticed a notification I had forgotten to look at just after lunch. It was a Friend Request from Martin Heidegger. Just then I got another from Mach and another from Planck. But