Lord Melos regarded his teacup hesitantly, then shrugged and drank it anyway. The party under the awning gasped. "Did he just drink a cup full of dirty rainwater?" Melos chuckled.

. It didn't land in my shrinking green circle so I kept running. "PIKA PIKA PIKA!!!" I screeched. It's okay, I told myself as I ran into a nearby house. But uh-oh ...

corn and how much he hated it. But some kid's nan's kettle corn aversion would not keep Karen from nailing down what was happening to her. She looked up over the edge of the bed at

que fellow who waddled down the block to pluck Uncle Johann from the umbrella stand & unfold him for a tryout. He told the vendor: "I'm Oswald C. Cobblepot. Got any ammo for this?"

sounds implausible but numbers can be irrational and dividing by zero works magic even my high school algebra teacher warned about. Our protagonist was a rule bender: Flat Ollie.

popper.He opened the medicine cabinet with glee,a pill popper he'd be! Disheartened to find only a bottle of aspirin he tried twisting open the childproof cap but it wouldn't budge

with a distinct foot cheese scent that was tastier then the sad flat little hash puppies at the Stand-up Diner's Open griddle night. Anyway what can you expect from Dane as Cook?

4BR3B Shotgun and put it in a safe spot, telling everyone, "It will be in the skeleton closet". Plotsky agreed it was a good spot and put the Messerschmidt pistol in the Mahagony

as she had alway been. OK she was a zombie, so technically an undead god, not a living one, but so what? She was still willing to lend an ear. It kept falling off anyway.

had been at the Cone. That is what we called an unknown structure in the woods behind our house. If you went in naked it transported you to the center of the Universe as Earth's re

"How'd you like that one?" Ludwig would shout to the emperor, to which the emperor would reply: "Stop shouting at this personality, it's very sensitive" and then send out another

But you could always tell that they had passed by the trail of dynamite stubs and Acme receipts they left behind. Maybe they could be stopped by cancelling their Acme account! It

ou can always tell what a quahog writes by his over-use of capital letters," said Cummerbund. Manatee glanced at the missive and noted the capital letters. "I still says it's sea

and scared the Heck out of me. You see, for a long time I had harbored the fear that my cuttlefish secretly hated me and wanted to blow me to bits. But it was a silver balloon that

d dogs and doctors, claiming that that were followers of the great Wumba-Wumba, and therefore heathen and deserving of various skin afflictions. The Pharoah was intolerant of all

The quantum computer, according to his psychiatrist, made his schizophrenia worse. Where else to find napthalene? He took out his laptop and couldn't find anything on Google. Argh!

"The war here is getting worse. I don't want our son Brenton and daughter Cosmo to grow up in a war zone. So I'm sending them to Earth, with or without your approval." Shouted Ease

That was my evil twin and the camera filmed backwards, once again. It had a mind of its own ever since I opened the box. First thing it said was, "Careful with that axe!"

Little children worldwide, sometimes sprinkled with cinnamon or drizzled with chocolate. Nabisco bought out Jesus Graham 's patent for £1,2 billion. That's the rest of the story!

Sergeant Pepper perused it and said, stroking his goatee, "I think I know. Jolly Roger may be the one who sent this. Blimey!" Jolly Roger was his schizophrenic uncle. Our address