with your Tuber Eats and your Logged Menus don't know how good you've got it. Why, I remember one time my mother sent me to collect some pizza for my brother's birthday dinner.

...with what…I’m not sure. I had total short-term amnesia; for how long…I wasn’t sure. I heard a woman shouting Eddie, but I had no reaction to her. She said her name was Brenda.

Bad Guy stops mid-evilness and delivers a pointless rambling that reveals his plans to the hero. Pet Peeve #8: Despite being shot/hit a lot, the Hero somehow manages to stay alive.

The sweat dribbled onto the floor and I fell face-down. The audience gasped as I jumped back up & caught all the bananas and chainsaws falling from above, but one of the chainsaws

to see that the fourth letter of the alphabet no longer exists. The ruins of a nearby restaurant read "Mc onal 's", with the street sign next to it saying "Vinyar Roa ".

bugged out as he realized that he had eaten chicken nuggets for breakfast, and he was still alive! He marveled at this beauty and ran off, pushing the coins off of his desk,

using only pins and needles. It took so long to eat the ice cream with such small tools that most of it melted. Plus, Gerhard had punctured his lips several times and was now bleed

that I would actually like and find useful, or maybe just appreciate their effort and intention even if they couldn't deliver? But no, I told them, I'm not cult or god material, so

but sometimes too much. Such was the case while it transited Earth's biosphere. The ammonia in his ammonia flesh had an overabundance of left spinning quarks. It eventually led to

Dr. Kuntz, I found later, never toyed. It was all to train me tell granite from igneous "Feldspat, Quarz und Glimmer, die drei vergess ich nimmer" I murmured carrying the bucket of

discovered their candy had been taken from beneath their button noses. Wah wah, screamed the babies that had been dealt this dastardly deal. Their cries were heard at the nurses's

AIDS from looking at my ketchup. poor boy, i wish i could have saved him.

"Well, I was a baby when I was born. It's not like I can remember all of the details..." I chuckled weakly, but the immigration officer's glare only intensified.

Dad, is that really you? Funny how you turned out a cop and I'm a drug dealer!" I chuckled. Then it hit me. Oh crap. This guy might be my long lost dad, but he'd still arrest me fo

peewee brain realizes it’s just Webdings font. “The alien overlords haven’t answered my prayers today, and never will,” I realized. Years past by watching The Office in german.

And so did everything else. That's what happens in a biblical flood. Nothing survives. Almost nothing, that is.

my tongue, joined the fray. Oh! What time was had by all in the Geriatric Ward! Drumming, clacking, the Cursed Dentures called forth from our united din the Damned Quad Cane.

But to me she was Chicken Enchilada w/Spanish Rice plate. I always joke with her like that. I remind her that without my love she could just as easily find herself in a street taco

I switched off the TV, yawning. Man, these late night cartoons were getting weird. Time to get some sleep.

Even though he didn't reply, I could tell by the flash in his eyes that his mind had been blown. "Oh for freak's sake, pull yourself together," I said, "use the force." I thought