"Let's try a different role playing game." I suggested " I need to change." I left her in her tattered princess costume and decided to change into something more dominatrix for me

(Well, in fact, they were, but the doctors blamed the Doctor Wars on the nurses, as usual.) Nurses from around the globe came crawling out of the ERs to defend their honor, while

your tiny head hole to be affected by my tiny heart hole, our holes must remain separate until I can learn to love again, I'm sorry Vro, completely and holey sorry.

Ragnorok. The coast guard boarded the Viking ship. I blasted my megaphone. “We don’t care if your from Valhalla and it’s the end of the world, this is American waters and you

Given that they all knew they were under surveillance, Ariela gamely confided: "One time -- and I hope Clovis will forgive me -- one time he confided that he loved the smell of old

-round the ho, ho, ho' was a hit with the tongs. Not so much with the Fu Manchu. Which is why 'cock-around the ho, ho, ho" wasn't allowed in his new haunted castle. Gourmet ghosts

a biplane's propellers slowly, deliberately. I knew then that she was having some feelings about moving back to Heck. I hadn't considered the sexuality of planes before. Was that

om using Frontline, which was about as useless as the proverbial screen door on a submarine. Bill's fleas were proliferating over his face and abdomen. Sara had to take the fight

The Land of Goshen wasn't all its brochure cracked it up to be. It's hard to take any sort of writing service seriously if they use a sans serif font. Eileen was leader of Goshen,

wobbled, a bit, but managed to right itself. It was like the pyramid had a gyroscope inside. Elvis and Bonano sat up at that. They recognized what all great guitarists guessed at.

e and into the baptismal font which, like the public pool, was full of urine. Then the best man got loose and ate all the little communion wafers (the Jeez-its), and the bride ate

group therapy. There they met a Gen-Xer and his dad. The Xer says, "Dad, I'm in puppy love." "That's great, son!" says the dad. "With an actual puppy," said the son. "Get my gun,"

-led. Mildred replied to the Frenchman, "a fence only keeps honest people out but men with guns keep the prisoners in. With my Kalashnikov I have no need for a lock."

both of them ignoring the scent of a dead skunk I left in the radiator last Yom Kippur. Even Dairy Queen won't take their drive-thru order now.

slightest perturbed by Nyarlathotep. We all pointed and laughed at him. One guy quipped, "He wanted to reject Cthulhu, but said, '$20 is $20 is $20 is $20 is $20 is $20 is $20!'"

ife on board with it too? It feels wrong to take a train when you don't know where it's headed. I could be a trap. Are they waiting for us to make a mistake? Is this why the sugges

tore open it's underbritches with a thunderous fannyclapper. All eyes snapped over to the offending cloud. Pluto laughed first, then Triton, and pretty soon the whole congregation

The kitchen learned not to send the pretty ones as food bearers as they quickly ended up without a head. They now only send out the frumps. Who cry because they lose either way.

I felt like my own private trinity in an Ang movie. I had one hand reaching for Jesus and the other my nana. Jesus had one reaching for me & the other pushing my nana behind him.

my purty mouth." The banjo blushed sharply. The spirit of the marsh-island could see where this story was going and tried to head it off by fomenting mistrust between Kask & banjo.