I yelled up at the dark puffball. “Hey little guy, why so gloomy?” The storm cloud thundered and sent down a bolt in my direction. “Weatherman thinks I’m just a front.”

How about "Come to my cooler, you little darlin'" or "Jump on the hook and laugh at George Carlin"? But no, he had been trying to write a serious poem about fishing, not a comedy

felt the usual pleasant surprise at gin's subtle flavour. She thought, "If only I could get Dr Goodfeel to love me..." Goodfeel arched an eyebrow. "Doris?" She gasped. Did she say

That all it took was the exactly right shot for the puck to go in for a score. Roman found the goalie was not as easy to fool as he had thought. The referees were watching closely.

before anyone could see her and exclaim, "There she is, the baby witch who slaughters mountain goats with her visage!" But then she realized that someone WAS shouting that, and she

Lly inhabited by varmints and met Mr. Tarantula about noon over coffee and donuts. We planned our approach to rebuild the old armory.

ntly clear that the path of stoic friendlessness suggested by "Jane Eyre" had shunted me down a very unsavory path indeed. Then I felt the kind hand of Prester Inspector Hathaway

and making lewd remarks at passersby. "However," he went on, "Guildenstern knows a fire escape with a hidden entrance to heaven behind some loose bricks. Ask him to show you."

obtuse hypotenuse overused rhombus boozers with protracted compass disease. They tended to go around in circles, parallel to the ground but perpendicular to each other's

friend..." smiling devilishly, he threw a juice box at his foe, all the while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" No one knew why until it was too late, he picked up his lunch tray and

that! Rookie mistake. The adversaries locked eyes, tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. The cheat was first to break eye contact, gazing at his board, feigning focus.

essment of me is harsh and way out of line. Nor is this the right time time for it considering where we are." I pointed out the eyes of the Watchers & their hungry mouths. The look

dress as Kermit the Frog so she could make mad, passionate love to me. Having burned all the Muppet costumes but Fozzie Bear, I asked the Swede if his sister would screw Fozzie ins

g at the armpit. Grandma knew this would distract me long enough to pull out her knitting needles and plunge them in to my eyes. I went wailing backwards. The Looney Bin truck was

you can grow your own cucumber. You can grow some real big ones. So big that, well... heh, let's just say sometimes the prolapse is worth it. Raw bacon might skeeve ya out for a

not before (<Larissa's napkin from lunch that day.>) the (<Kilroy Murpheson was a piano tuner who died of pig stomach.>). Pyle looked at Sneaky Pete and blew him a kiss. Kidney's

She prayed that Martin specifically, who was weak for a good beach, would volunteer himself to go first and become the cautionary casualty. She knew he was gunning for Ship Lead

prefers non-verbal equines." "But Lazurus," answered Prince Lvov, "You know how Empress Catherine adores celebrities, and Mr. Ed is a TV star." "What's TV?" LaRue shot back. Just

Tacoma, Washington. He was always a huge fan of glass sculptor Dale Chihuly, but the museum turned out to be just "okay". We asked Dale himself to oversee our marriage dissolution.

Putty like skin on the dark web. The thing about Putty Boys skin was it grew excessively and could be moulded into any living, breathing object you liked. Corrupt members of the