, Southern, Eastern or Western, nobody was safe from the Falkland drums. Wherever you went, the drums followed you. Thump. Thump. Thump. Only the volunteer punks could withstand

Araidne the Lesser Gorgon. Nobody else would try to pull that shit. I couldn't concentrate on my maths. My empathy went off the charts on the low end. Who could Araidne be seeing?

far from knowing how to use his new dorsal fin. To his stepfather, who just happened to walk into the dining just then, he looked like the fish was shitting the boy. He grabbed a

irresistibly al dente. The flatulence, a serendipitous byproduct of my gluttony, saved me from the doom that met virtually all other human life. My only company was an IBS-afflicte

I considered the question, glancing at my partner. A couples adventure of discovery on a mysterious island sounded amazing. She gave me a slight nod. "We're in!" I said. I didn't

But Moon Doggy felt threatened and struck out with some fung fu moves. He took the butterflies by surprised and all bunched together. He wiped out hundreds with his first swipe.

Roseanne Barr, amongst other members of the Moo World Order. The steaks were high, she had some major beef and nothing, nor nobody was going to stand in her way.

heads. Regrettably, the four children were told, they would now be inseparable. Like conjoined twins, the filthy kids were bound by their mutually-tangled hair.

I yelled up at the dark puffball. “Hey little guy, why so gloomy?” The storm cloud thundered and sent down a bolt in my direction. “Weatherman thinks I’m just a front.”

How about "Come to my cooler, you little darlin'" or "Jump on the hook and laugh at George Carlin"? But no, he had been trying to write a serious poem about fishing, not a comedy

felt the usual pleasant surprise at gin's subtle flavour. She thought, "If only I could get Dr Goodfeel to love me..." Goodfeel arched an eyebrow. "Doris?" She gasped. Did she say

That all it took was the exactly right shot for the puck to go in for a score. Roman found the goalie was not as easy to fool as he had thought. The referees were watching closely.

before anyone could see her and exclaim, "There she is, the baby witch who slaughters mountain goats with her visage!" But then she realized that someone WAS shouting that, and she

Lly inhabited by varmints and met Mr. Tarantula about noon over coffee and donuts. We planned our approach to rebuild the old armory.

ntly clear that the path of stoic friendlessness suggested by "Jane Eyre" had shunted me down a very unsavory path indeed. Then I felt the kind hand of Prester Inspector Hathaway

and making lewd remarks at passersby. "However," he went on, "Guildenstern knows a fire escape with a hidden entrance to heaven behind some loose bricks. Ask him to show you."

obtuse hypotenuse overused rhombus boozers with protracted compass disease. They tended to go around in circles, parallel to the ground but perpendicular to each other's

friend..." smiling devilishly, he threw a juice box at his foe, all the while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" No one knew why until it was too late, he picked up his lunch tray and

that! Rookie mistake. The adversaries locked eyes, tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. The cheat was first to break eye contact, gazing at his board, feigning focus.

essment of me is harsh and way out of line. Nor is this the right time time for it considering where we are." I pointed out the eyes of the Watchers & their hungry mouths. The look