nunchucks with fins and scales. One moment they were under her armpits, then flashing toward them. Matt and Tim ducked under the Bunsen burner table as flasks shattered around them

Mrs. Bucket-of-Chicken, real name Aileen Tuport from Napoleon, Ohio, got wind of this. She didn't worry a bit. It was well known that billy goats bluff. Sadly, they might've been

over my bathroom threshold, when it hits me like a bag of Fritos, right between the eyes…why didn’t I see it sooner? Everyone is affected, infected or not. Everyone itches at 4:15

"Do shut up, you cantankerous sot!" I, the Sixth Doctor, proudly backhanded Peri, then readied my PETA-brand sub-machine gun on the non-vegetarian natives. The Alien Witch didn't

trials and tribulations of primitive vacuum cleaner robotics, those first Roombas that became dust-collecting knickknacks for the rich and famous; plant holders, & cat perching

into the septic tank at the Iced Tea Car Shield corporate headquarters. Suffice it to say, Iced Tea was really upset when he heard the rock banshee getting it on with Coco Austin

began sharpening the butcher knife that Santa kept in his desk. Comet knew that Santa always kept it near, in the unlikely event that the reindeer would revolt. Rudolph's time was

fluffy bunny hides. Sanjiro "Bloody Eyes" strode out of the Bunny Gang's hutch. The Owl Gang fell for the bunny-clone bait, and now his gang would have their revenge. He spat his

Ariadne the Lesser Gorgon's favorite dish for a while. But I didn't care. She wasn't a full Gorgon so she couldn't turn me to stone with her glare. She hated to be reminded of it.

to camp in the Outback, Seppo?” “Hey, bloody ripper, that’s none of your damn business.” “It’s my business to inform Bogan Drongo of his rights.” Tusken gave him the passport.

counted out her bullets. One. She counted them again. Still only one. She peeked over the counter. The Grand Poobah was still eyeing the Claw Prize game. Like he recognized it. She

your firstborn in today, you'll get another bonus CD, from pop sensation Therena Malp! Don't miss this once in a lifetime deal. Turn off the TV, walk 40 paces left, then chant this

-hew this sort of thing, claiming that it was 'the devil's wine spritzer', but dealornodeal would not let ashybear leave the party without one little taste. She glowered at him and

Until one laid there dead. The oldest boy, who was about 36 months old, said, " That's what you get." as he clean the blade on the dead man's shirt and pocketed the blade back.

tied up the apartment complex phone line with her incessant gossip, and whenever she strolled past a computer, she would hit F11 to full-screen the browser. Mrs. Harper was a pill.

only God saw this, He would be quite aggravated, then they realized that He is always watching.

-prano, but she just flicked her tongue out at me and stalked off. That gila monster never did trust me again after I skipped out all my AA meetings, and our love suffered as a

True, I had dated other female carrots before, but my heart was no longer in it. And I had a pigeon in my stomach. I was not sure of the pigeon's sexual preferences, but by now, it

in mind a mahogany hutch but Mag's modest end table behind wasn't a non-starter. End tables had their uses.When in Rome. So he took her to his apartment. Which he shared with him m

"Yeah, but you're telling it in 2021," the guy at the Carvel Ice Cream counter shouted at me, "so put on your damned mask! Look, even Fudgey the Whale is wearing one!" Well, I had