-
proper acting technique?!" thundered Scorsese at the cowering shark,"We don't pay you to chat the actors up, we pay you to CHEW them up!" The chastened shark bared its teeth at me
-
a cat beer because so few cats live to be 21. That didn't mean the cat couldn't learn, and the cat ended up ordering 200 gross of frozen lasagnas with my good, clean credit card.
-
wearing I bought at Goodwill for $1. But after we fumigate it and wash it we'll have it on the sales floor with a Mashall's price of $11.99." St. Pooter wasn"t impressed. "Dollar
-
The Land of Goshen wasn't all its brochure cracked it up to be. It's hard to take any sort of writing service seriously if they use a sans serif font. Eileen was leader of Goshen,
-
scuttled unless she could find someone on eBay or Craigslist selling the Schwinn and would accept Green Stamps. Then one day there it was on the Facebook Marketplace. Miley booked
-
wobbled, a bit, but managed to right itself. It was like the pyramid had a gyroscope inside. Elvis and Bonano sat up at that. They recognized what all great guitarists guessed at.
-
n enormous amount of bitcoin; enough for Dr. Goodfeel to take Nurse Ratched for a ride on his hobbyhorse, get her to invest in Poxagone, give the Poxariffic some free advertising.
-
soulless little child-shaped bags of slurry. "Look at how the school system has succeeded!" crowed the superintendent. "My little Remington has never been so nice!" exclaimed Mrs.
-
e and into the baptismal font which, like the public pool, was full of urine. Then the best man got loose and ate all the little communion wafers (the Jeez-its), and the bride ate
-
the Royal Canadian Mounties arrested me for being drunk and disorderly; when, in fact, I had forced a Siamese cat on Burton Cummings, at gun point. The ASPCA Officers cuffed me and
-
and everything nice. But I the ingredient this dish really needed was revenge. I liked the blade of my knife.
-
a biplane's propellers slowly, deliberately. I knew then that she was having some feelings about moving back to Heck. I hadn't considered the sexuality of planes before. Was that
-
But Ralph S. Mouse was so tiny that no-one really noticed the spray of bullets. Lefty the Wart heard Ralph's faint expletives and swatted at what he assumed was a flea on his ankle
-
om using Frontline, which was about as useless as the proverbial screen door on a submarine. Bill's fleas were proliferating over his face and abdomen. Sara had to take the fight
-
group therapy. There they met a Gen-Xer and his dad. The Xer says, "Dad, I'm in puppy love." "That's great, son!" says the dad. "With an actual puppy," said the son. "Get my gun,"
-
The rest of the letters laughed with Q except for P and well you can guess what it was doing. The girl at the bottom of the stairs knew she must break out of the basement. She...
-
-round the ho, ho, ho' was a hit with the tongs. Not so much with the Fu Manchu. Which is why 'cock-around the ho, ho, ho" wasn't allowed in his new haunted castle. Gourmet ghosts
-
and it was a perilous state to be in, yet she found herself laughing, throwing her arms in the air. Fern stared at Julia, knowing what little care she had was lost to the winds.
-
up the spaghetti dish and onto the table. Then Gunjak slipped over the table's edge. She slid down until only the top of her noodle body was holding on while she dangled there. She
-
...Maybe? Another look at the scattered archives might’ve sparked a few thoughts — perhaps ‘Janitor Fists Boss Until Prolapse’ had some sort of artistic or intellectual merit