At the last moment, just before getting out of my Uber, I asked "Steve", the Uber driver, "Where do I go for some fun?" "Phuque Queue," he answered as he drove off with my $30 tip.

The fact is, that Leslie Ann Warren was my Miss Scarlet, long before she was Miss Scarlet to the rest of the world. Lady Scarlett, on the other hand, has yet to be surpassed. Given

The narrow walls of Old Town reminded me why had I left for space. The narrow spaces in spaceships didn't seem to register most of the time. These walls meant unwanted closeness.

During his virgin spaceflight, Ensign Dish Soap O'Malley mutinied and commandeered a Pluto Class spacedreadnaught; Captain O'Malley jettisoned 43 of the crew & declared war upon

We have received several reports that the name of the notorious space pirate, Captain Soap Dish O'Malley is being masked on all media. Spokesperson for the pirate claims a hack.

I was too busy being a thug to ever have time to play being a thug in a game. Then I had to lay low in a tunnel/bunker/conjugal rights type situation & discovered [insert product]

I think it is the Mitchell kid that my cat is talking about. My cat claims a human young one who lives two or 7 catnips overs claims to be a cat in a human form. They speak cat and

???????????????? ???????? ???????????? ???????????????????????????????? ???????????????????? ???????? ???????????????????????????????????????????? ???????? ???????????? ???????????????? ???????????? ???????????????????? ???????? ????????????????. ???????????? ???????????????????????????????? ???????????? ???????????????? ????????

The Lone Ranger shows us that the American public will except any white man as the authority, even a masked one. By what authority did justice demand he be masked? The Holy Vehm?

Two year old me must have seen through my 58 year old eyes when I looked through his. That means going back to find out how I got fucked up is what fucked me up. I'd smelt myself.

Two year old me saw what he saw through my eyes. The darkness, the end times, the nights and rains stopping the mail from getting through, the 2 hurricanes coming in. He freaked. I

So we've got 2 hurricanes incoming, Laura and Marco. An incoming asteroid. A heatwave and wildfires in California, nunchuck toting bears, and Chandra North is still missing. 2020.

For want of an onion I lost my queen. I picked it up when I plundered the public radio guy who kept the telethon going while infected & zombifying faster than donations. The onion

The Orange Man need only declare himself the AntiChrist and the evangelicals will be climbing over each other to reelect him. The sooner he got reelected the sooner the apocalypse.

According to a cursory search of the internet, approximately 153,000 people die each day in the world. In the Gospel of Bartholomew, Jesus claimed 151,000: only 3 of which were

The little girl was having a bad dream. She could see her father, a Texas State Trooper, in uniform, hitchhiking through the desert. Meanwhile, in the desert, a Texas State Trooper

I guess I crossed a line when I mentioned her alabaster bosom. I had thought comparing her to the Venus de Milo was a compliment: I guess. "So, in your view, I don't need arms?" It

Ted thanks his friends for the invite. But he didn't want to ruin their night by dying of an aneurysm because of his blood pressure. They might find out they like kicking bloated

Kevn reminded Ai about the scenario he'd described as being serendipitous that one time. Ted now thinks "fortuitous" a more apt description. But it is too late. Ai has gone to her

I got to think this all happened in Kansas. I kind of remember the miles & miles of pancakes I imagined every day. They didn't have any Haggis Huts nearby. I made doo. Fertilizer,