Ancestral ferric tumbleweed Zhik Chavra tried to adapt Prince's "Purple Rain" for a wide spectrum of Martian sensibilities, but

Do you know the reason why you never see parliamentarians in trouble? It is because parliamentarians follow the process. It hardly needs stipulating. Ted has a lot of explaining to

The Long Tall woman had it all and I meant to take from her. I made my move by hitting her left hand woman, Shartrise with a paternity suit. I saw right away I’d stepped wrongly. A

The drone video showed our drone killers engaging the terrain drones. “That’ll alert them we’re ready to meet them on the battlefield.” “Colonel, they’ve started picking ours off.”

Writing about my fingers covered in warm yolk made me not do the thing I was writing about doing. By then the yolks were cold and unappealing. They would never make the cover. A sp

I ended up on the outside looking in at myself looking out. I don’t know which of me was more embarrassed. Still, I powered through and learned something about myself. I was not in

Airos, you must set your weapons of chalangra and murtos aside, and your body as well, for I have a great purpose for you. "But Dad, my abs and pecs are at peak beauty! How could

He handed me a flower of creation, and bade me poke it in my pipe. I took a little toke and said, "Yeah, Dad, that's all right. But what if I were to tell you that I am actually

Literally everyone I've asked agrees you're not supposed to see ninjas. I am worried shitless because I saw one. He was crossing the street all ninja. But it was broad daylight. Am

I didn’t need my telepathy to tell what that lady was thinking when she glanced at me. “That thing isn’t from around here.” All with a writhing maelstrom of disgust in the pit of

Having a surfeit of nothing beyond my ability to contain has not turned out the way you imagine it would. It all started when I was ejected from the pirate brotherhood for decorum.

I read my DNA at breakfast. I discovered that not only was I missing the commitment gene I was also missing the clown gene. That explains a lot. Especially that row in Quantico.

Today Dereq heard about a girl who was born in a volcano. She wasn’t afraid of anything. Dereq sent her a box of mistletoe. Not 10 minutes later his original Moto starting buzzing.

One of my wives and I were getting out eat on at the local Mustard Hut. Our dinner was interrupted by a shout. “Caliban, stop the waiter from blowing my brains out!” One 100% trip

One of the problems one might face is having a face too big for one’s head. It happens to everyone at some point in their life. Or more rare, the head too big for the face.

One of the problems one might face is having a face too big for one’s head. It happens to everyone at some point in their life. Or more rare, the head too big for the face.

After spending twelve years in a Georgia prison for giving a black woman a bottle of Dasani and a granola bar, Cyrus chose to knock on the Governor’s door and went back to prison

Jack would be less testy if he didn’t have a debilitating rash on his backside. If it had been anywhere else (not including the private bits), he might have been more supportive.

I watched the shadows of the trees pantomime a picaresque tale of how cavemen decided what the constellations were called. Thraagk thought Drunmkkof was using a line from Sirius B

The tyranny of the moment to upturn the apple cart was well known in those days. It was also the custom during the Shadow Ages for people to brush their teeth. They didn't consider