"I am a luxury hobo. Observe." The bearded man on the beach stuck out his thumb and a cruise liner picked him up. "I've been poor in 35 countries and hundreds of resorts. Follow me

Hi,my name is Steve. I was born in the suburbs with 2 working class parents, a sister & a 2 car garage. I have no real identity nor do I have a clue what I'm doing. Want to go out?

After 10 days of white-out in a pup-tent, the weather cleared and we ventured to the peak. When reaching the summit, I checked my GPS. We were on the wrong mountain

It was a dark and stormy night, and the biggest and fastest spaceship in the world was being overrun by chickens.

I'm sitting in the Rose & Crown. It's busy so I've got time to sneak in a fold. Oh no... Josh from work has spotted me & he's coming over. Will I have time to finish or will Josh

The halls of Dis were dark. The black lamps burnt dark blue darkening the gloom.

Pancho mindlessly flipped through the channels, unable to focus on any of the daytime programming he came upon. He was thinking of that paper airplane, the one that had killed

Roberta sat in the boardroom, trembling in her designer dress. Had her brilliant deception been uncovered or was the boss about to give her a

The Squid children rolled on the floor laughing. "That's the dumbest story you ever told! You're teasing us!" Giant Old Squid Man's eyes twinkled again."OK, let me tell you another

At all costs, I'm just trying to avoid eye contact. I can handle the repugnant smell and deal with the abhorrent facial sores. But if that guy next to me on the bus starts to

Hello! HELLO! welcome to our SHOW! Don't be scarred or unPREpared! It's time we shared David Lynch's FUN HOUSE!

The wall.

Bless Me, Father, for I have sinned. I am a confirmed Catholic who strayed from Heaven's straight & Narrow path for a walk thru debauchery's garden: Sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll.

I keep falling asleep at the worst possible moments.

I fell in love with a mermaid. She had hair the color of the night and her skin was covered with iridescent scales. I want to join her but she refused to let me drown.

Give a hand to our researcher, Bob Simons, author of the Bestselling book: "Worlds Beyond Our Own FoldingStory" and "Why Our Lives are Weird and Disconnected, and other Answers"

"OH. MY. GOD. Will you stop playing Friday just this once?! that was, like, 2 years ago!"My sister screamed "NOPE! But Chuck Testa Might" I Replied. "i'll go get the Poptart and

He rubbed his goatee peering at her black leotard over his espresso. She grabbed his beret and flung it. "You just hate me because I want to dig the world always!" Beatniks were

The wedding invite said, "Bring a suit." So what if mine was bright canary hazmat with a gas-mask helmet! I was on time!

How to Erotically Caress a Nose. 1) Breathe. Breathing's important. 2) To avoid startling the subject, approach from sideways on. 3) Position the nose at a 50 degree angle. 4) Shak