Finished Folds (81—100)
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4won the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. I sat down, stunned. I was now a millionaire. I was still holding the phone. "...and all you have to do is give me your bank account
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4I returned to my task at hand: Christmas shopping for my wife.I have no idea what to get her.Nothing is more terrifying. "Who the hell is Jim Hutchinson?" I wondered as I wandered.
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4"Wanna lick?" naked Lloyd asked Martha. Martha blushed. "I'm diabetic," she replied. "One lick won't hurtcha," Lloyd countered, holding his frosted finger to her trembling lips.
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6transport you, like the sidewalk chalk picture in Mary Poppins. Are you ready? It's just a bit of magic after all.
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6Of course, as you remind me almost daily, you cannot read my mind. I can tell right now by the look on your face that you are still clueless about what to get me for Christmas. How
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4the village attorney's office to check it's authenticity. "You are the sole heir," the attorney told Jilly. "Congratulations. However, there's a catch. You must
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4yla. I slept my way through the alphabet. I had to. I kept copious notes about each woman, A - Z. I felt fulfilled. I checked Alphabet Sex off my bucket list. Next, I wanted to
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4to catch up with the future. Damn, that's good. I'll write that one down. Sitting alone on the beach brings out the philosopher in me. I turned to a fresh page in my journal.
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5ng in the Swiss Alps, where Heidi was supposedly living with her grandfather. The very thought of Heidi made me want to yodel. I trudged up the Matterhorn to find her. I thought I
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3, "And replace them with dead ones, so no one gets suspicious." Griffin stared at the robot hitman, slack-jawed."How much?" Griffin asked. "To de-energize your mother, I only need
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3ertised. "Fine," the head chef conceded,winking conspiriatorally at the waitress, & went back to the kitchen. He cooked up something special for them...right off the kitchen floor.
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5is was quite clever on her part, to say the least, because after that her date thought she was a big cryogenic crybaby and left her the hell alone.
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5poker game starting with his buddies. The Saint Bernard handed him a cigar, shoved a beer in his hand, while the beagle dealt. Before long, all his troubles were forgotten.
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3McCain should have stopped there,but no. He just HAD to sing "Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love" at the convention. Big mistake. He was laughed off the stage, dragging his blue suede shoes.
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6What did I care? I was ready with my suitcase to fly to Vegas with my favorite redhead, Lucy. The lightning delayed our trip, though, so we went to the bar to drown our sorrows.
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10at that very moment, a banana fish zipped past & plucked it from my 7th tentacle. It was a perfect day for banana fish, but I was angry! "I may be a lowly cephalopod, but you can't
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6, it ended. Just like this story.
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6I opened the door. "Trick-or-treat!" the princess and the ninja turtle shouted, holding out their bags. "Trick!" I shouted back, slamming the door. Then I waited.
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6. Yes, trees...our limbs forever reaching for something...someone...somewhere...never grasping the truth.
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5Stank of porridge. She tried to run, but the bear's claws tangled in her golden tresses & her mask was ripped off, revealing "Jen's" true identity: Pee Wee Herman. God's truth.