Projectile vomiting has been added as a Tilt-a-Whirl riding championships event. The rules are easy: eat 5 dozen raw oysters, ride the Tilt-a-Whirl 60 times, puke as far as you can

I was keen on getting to the set first, before anyone else, mostly to get a feel for the ambiance, but also because I adored what I did: Long hours, early morning weekend shoots,

The Fursttodie's had lots of question before adopting Drimaat3'b that we couldn't answer for them. "We've never had an alien baby before. We recommend you treat it as Special Needs

Brad & Jenn (not that Brad & Jenn) took the space shuttle to the Moon, and neither one was impressed. In fact, Brad called it a wasted week. Would a trip to Mars be better?

Was at home to the steady whip of life and eternity. She decided, if this was all the infinite had to offer, then it needed a ruler like her. Attila the Nun marched towards a flock

Sacajawea paused at the rim of Gitchegumee perusing the opposite shoreline and prepared for Ahuli’s signal: three drumbeats, a rest, six drumbeats, a rest, and then two drumbeats.

If you want fame, do the following: Say stupid shit with a smile on your face, run around naked all the time, have a very catchy name. Stupid and naked is easy. Name? Joe Goldberg

People lined up for miles to get their piece of the pie. It was one big mother of a pie, and more than enough for all, but, from the start, some people took more than their share.

“You didn’t cough,” He said. “I can’t rule out a hernia until you cough.” I wanted to know how he got under my sheets, but his grip on my testicles tightened, so I coughed until

&caught the delicate scent of chartreuse. The pain morphed into pleasure as the thing sucked plasma from my pores, replaced by something of a similar consistency, but metallic.

Ouch. [alligator bites off legs][crawls through the sewer after it, screaming bloody murder][happens upon an entire underground city of mutant who extend invitation to gater BBQ]

Even so, I have never been able to get a human to accept my marriage proposal, and believe me, I have asked every one I have seen with my raging primate eyes. So I fly over their

My long-suffering wife, who knew she'd never be able to mention this on the divorce papers. The alien grinned at me, fetid copro-chunks falling from its jaws as its pointed tail

I can't say much of anything since they took my voice away. I've tried using my fingers but they can aspirate most of the sounds. They'd be good if I had spoken T'Kung or Swahili,

In days of old, I declare, when people wore no underwear, nor did they bathe more than once a week, of musk and vetiver they did reek. Yet, still they were fine, most of the time.

My Grandfather always said,"Я трахаю твою мать, потому что она шлюха!" Unfortunately, I don't speak Russian. Nevertheless, I took his words to heart and let them guide my life.

into somebody's bathroom. The wall, actually. Ouch! I looked around to see WTF. The grave had become the medicine cabinet. Aha, the source of the razor blades. Somebody was coming.

kept away in droves and wisely that was. Still, one could say that Marty flourished being homeless and dressed like a Regency rake. His concern with waffle batters, though, wasn't

The kitchen learned not to send the pretty ones as food bearers as they quickly ended up without a head. They now only send out the frumps. Who cry because they lose either way.

Wedding night." He did, but he missed his old wife. He decided to dig up cadavers with similar features to his ex, and use his new cadaver as a shrine/doll of the corpse he missed.