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neither of them was Lutheran. The First Lutheran Church of Milwaukee had been turned into a gypsy brothel. Pam Sam and Archie O’Phunnet were perfectly functional illiterates.
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the aunts: Clementine, Maisie, Pearl, and Tillie all passed on the tea, and, instead, sharpened their switches and pounded my ass until it was redder than a pomegranate.
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Henceforth, red was the new blue. Being a blue blood was a rite of passage, notably for Martians, who, as we all know, had yellow blood that turned green when subjected to oxygen.
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Seltzer-Salsa wedding reception. I felt bad having to stick a stake in the turkey's heart but those fangs were a hazard.The Parsnips being persnickety with the sprouts was too much
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– she's actually the breadwinner in the house from monetizing her YouTube porn, which in turn funds her cinematic career. She already has three films on the Criterion Channel while
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Somehow I found myself at a smoothie bar between galaxies, and Holy D&D it was a Beholder who reassured me: "Be well and whole. Be patient and trust." It was like a benediction! My
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"Why do we bother?!" xul whispered. "Yeah, really," lux agreed. "And who serves beans and cabbage at holiday meals?" Xul teared up. "I do love you." Lux sighed. "Maybe a timeout
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Inwardly I joked to the shade of my dead brother, I'd go in but I might burst into flame,and then I'd be toast. Texas Toast. Instead I sat on the steps of that church in Euless, w
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I should've stopped on dwell. I was happy, somewhat. The only sore point was the grow button next door. What if I pushed it and my happiness became less somewhat? Or grow the dark.
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At the last moment I realized that I had been understanding her perfectly enunciated Basque. I don't speak Basque. That was too minor a detail to waste time on. The vortex opened.
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I woke up meh again. Maybe if I eat some tamales I might cough up enough energy to heat them up first. Wishful thinking. Why did my fusion core leave me like this? Gone to hookup
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The Sexbot General opened the meeting by introducing a new security upgrade to the required clearance level. They only lost one to the BSOD. The sexbot droned on about SATISFACTION
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She had developed quite the reputation for her dull sense of.... everything. Any real man's worst nightmare.
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I was greeted by 6 fun sized yellow beings. I'd call them human, except that they were anything but.
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It amazes the hell out of me that I managed to get elected as the commander in chief. Ah, who am I kidding, I know the truth about how I really got here.
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Had any sense about me, I'd have shut my mouth at that point, but, in my slightly inebriated and uninhibited state, I continued on with my messily confident advance. The average
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A local Florida real estate tycoon heard about an alligator biting off my arm and he gets irrational and runs for President. Claims he is going to "drain the swamp". Pogo watches
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How can you imagine three stars that don't make a triangle? How about an up that hints at an infinite descending into madness with a twinge of nausea? Flummoxed are we? Stray away.
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Every Christmas, Uncle Tony from the Bronx gave us kids a gift, usually a half dollar, if we told him what we wanted to be when we grew up. I wanna be a hitman, like you, Uncle T.
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On this, the 23rd December, "The Day Without a Name", Ambrose Luxor felt more powerless than ever on his chilly attic sickbed, but he felt a great joy as well. These people will be