Those were the days. The trout would jump up onto the bridge and tap-dance across, singing "Hello my honey, hello my darling", the barn would bounce happily, and my acid trip was

These days, that river is just a trickle, the trout are but tadpoles, and the barn is full of nothing but single malt whiskey. I just keep walking, thinking about other times when

"I'm not saying that I helped invent the wheel or anything. The cavewoman can have her day." They quizzical looks at him. He parried them with aplomb while eating a plum pudding.

I glanced over and the tv was showing an episode of Newhart. I recognized Peter Scalari. He used to be Tom Hanks' roommate in Bosom Buddies. Neither made an attractive woman. Donna

Maize fiddled with the field radio until the colonel's voice came in loud and clear, just so Candy could switch it off again. By now, the elephant had led his tribe in a stampede

"Cooperate," I shouted out with a mechanical voice that wasn't mine. It was metallic. My voice is organic. Most of those around had turned & were watching me. I knew that look too

you're the first Chad of the day so I'll write #1 Chad. I'll know it is you. More importantly, you'll know you're #1 Chad. We'll call you when your espresso simplicado is ready."

Some people put all their money on a single horse, out of some trust in the provenance or poetic faith in the name, but I split my bets between a jingle horse and a tingle horse. W

Right in the middle of a battle with the Tyrosians our ship woke up. "This is your ship speaking. You call me the USS Armaggeddon but my name is Padmananda, and I'll not fire upon

After a cautious investigation I determined that no one was home, including me. But if nobody had replied, why did I remember the reply so distinctly? I didn't mean to intrude, but

Elwood Dee called her his Lolita. "I'm not. We're merely kissing cousins," said Delores. They were surprised how many people in Toledo spoke English. They had assumed Spanish would

In the 7 years the Apple Jacks had been living with Sven he had 3 girlfriends it had to get rid of for him. One night stands were OK. But a GF might get rid of expired cereal boxes

He ended up buying the box of Apple Jacks. He felt obliged after what it had gone through because of him. He hadn't eaten them since he was a kid. That box of Apple Jacks outlasted

Sven Golly was in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of him was wearing yoga pants. The woman was fit he could clearly see. To his right were a trio of women watching to

Sven Golly caught himself implying that a metal spoon was real and a plastic spoon was not. He imagined the outcry in plastic spoon households when he doubted their very existence.

to be seen, so Bunny sidled up to the rampion. It's purple flowers nodded in the breeze. Bunny glanced around one more time for the bald man before grabbing the rampion by the root

"You were supposed to axe the landlady, not help her set up passive revenue streams." Some of my clones were getting uppity, at their peril. But a vision on the Mayakovsky Bridge

For sure the crenelations were beyond weathered. The world decrepit was whispered in the wind. But he would own his own castle. His children could play the siege of Carcosonne like

I’m four feet tall & wear size 17 shoes; when I look forward, I see what’s behind me. My name is Watt Dioti, but on my birth certificate it says Twat Idiot. The clerk was dyslexic.

ing cars and giving them tickets. It was a Truth Support Group awareness gesture. "Razzmatazz! That ain't your run-of-the-mill regicide here in Swamp Poker Swings," said Hebetha.