What was important was that Glint Westrock was dead. He'd been poisoned by the future. Det. Manatee could see future residue on Glint's lips. "The question is did he die now or in

all because God's bladder burst. And God, while you're up there, would it kill you to put on some underpants? Everyone can see up your robe. Then OK K.O. jumped in and ate everyone

ion, and a flurry of punches. You ever been in a storm, Benny? A storm of fists, raining down on you? You ever get hit on by an undercover cop in drag? Huh? You ever eat dragon,

Would you explain to him why there is so much rampant plagiarism in Asia, particularly in so-called communist countries that claim to despise the western hordes? No, my brother, I

deals on overpriced gifts that nobody wants. I bought two bags of them and sent them to Jon Pertwee as a thank-you for the hovercraft. He smashed them to bits and sent them back.

at the presidency of the emerging second Confederation States Of America. Archangel Better Davis sent archangel Jimmy Stewart coy fiery letters of the Unholy Spirit. Countersigned

aralyzed psychotropic philodendrons philanthropists placed perpendicular to the poop plainly parked by pyromaniacs parodying our prime portal of our palace. "Pppppt!" Passing putts

"Yes, you did. And I happen to be an owl," said the windshield cleaner as he climbed into the passenger side and demanded $25. The man stared at his open talon and gave him the

no doubt that she was confused about the difference between greasepaint and biological heritage. The audience demanded their money back, but she had all ready fled through the back

om using Frontline, which was about as useless as the proverbial screen door on a submarine. Bill's fleas were proliferating over his face and abdomen. Sara had to take the fight

"How unseemly of me," he said as he thumbed the mildewy seam. Trying to rub the mildew away. Then he noticed a bit of honey stuck on the back of his paw. He had a Big Appetite. But

not without a hint of snideness. He gestured at the children at play. "Perhaps my tune is more to the liking of yon children. I tire of always being alone with the rats." He blew

his balls in the La Brea tar pits. Admiral Bucky Fularine needed to find them, stat, and find time to give Lee Fletcher a court martial. So long as the court martial was catered.

and the drug-fueled haze of slumming it. Think about it--we have gay BARS, but no gay libraries, gay cafes, etc. Bar culture is ingrained in us; alcoholism and dipsomania. Why do

"Because they can't taste. It has been bred out of the Aralian ruling classes," said a man none of us had ever seen. We would have remembered him. He had green hair & orange eyes.

hygienist. Tooth care from a beak? What'll they think of next? The albatross'll probably regurgitate in my mouth when he puts me under. Gross. I hate all birds and hope they die.

Nightly, he would go to the cemetery and gaze at the unmarked grave that he knew held both his life's work and his only legacy. He would have fever dreams the pooh bear rising out

decided yes, leave him to drown in soap, choking to death on the bitter flavor of Tide and the solve-everything taste of Bleach. Francis skipped down the street as the house filled

Seriously, we should just eradicate the entire simian family, save for humans. All monkeys do is eat your children's brains and shit all over the place. Brain them with a hammer, I

an over the shoulder comment to the widows she'd just made of them. When they stared at her she got angry. "To your duties, NOW!" "I'm captain of a ship of widows that I made," she