The pitcher of light can only be hidden under the bed for a short while. "Tell me about it," say his friend from HK. "Better sign off and shut off. F*cking American Nazi-Stalinists

Yeah. Oh yes. It almost seemed as if everything was significant and nothing was significant at the same time. There was an unnameable quality to that moment. My significant other

A plasticoid nephew from some future and a lineage I would not have anticipated somehow rallied the styrofoam beans in my bean bag chair to gently get me back on my feet. I was

not my wallet, but I was having a bad day. "Yes!" I lied, smiling at the kind stranger, taking the wallet. Another mistake. The world turned pink. "BE WHO YOU WANNA BE, B-A-R-B-I-E

I know what this is about you naughty simka. You're in need of D." B looked up from his not quite empty glass just as the jukebox started to play "Hey" by the Pixies. The cowboys

the realm of the ankle-biters. "What the hell, man?! Why not just bite me in-situ?" The dragger explained: "I drag, they bite. It's a division of responsibilities." So I asked him:

It realized, that even if a tomato is a fruit, if enough people think it's a vegetable then it's *almost* the same thing. Similarly, it decided if enough people believed it was a

my feather duster lacked an ionic-attraction switch -- but really I was just fooling myself and unwilling to admit that I had cut my Finder friend Jeremy out of my life all because

Take the holodeck for example. Nobody ever bumped into its walls. Klingon wore scrotal sacks on their foreheads. Phasers. 7 of 9's... shoulders. Warp

The corpulent king had no regard for Andrew's preposterous allergies. Andrew needed to gorge down the SPAM, and he needed to be fattened so he could become the king's doppelganger.

you to drown a puppy every 12-18 months and for this to work you can not ingest any nutmeg whatsoever. If you can do that, your spamming troubles are over for good. Questions?

OK, so I had forgotten my cultural-appreciation lessons and ingested the extended hand of the human ambassador from Earth without thinking. I did extend my second-best appendage,

"A Summer Place" was the soundtrack for me and my buddies' road trip as we bumped along over the still smoldering and twitching corpses of the Constitutionalists. We guzzled our

I reached for his hand anyway, because if I was going to be stabbed by his glare, I might as well hold it while dying.

Tony and Jill tried to prank Miss Williams by replacing her chalk with the Devil's Chalk they had found in their grandmother's attic. However, Miss Williams had anticipated such a

a fluffy menace to social order in Hong Kong. Labubu is wise and flirtatious in public, but in private speaks ancient Cantonese. Labubu likes to have tea with the police, just to

Mrs. Humphries nearly broke her cue stick against the blackboard. "Are you summer students even ready to join this game?" (Secretly she wondered if she had misjudged

herever, whenever! We were meant to be together!" A booming voice rattled the walls. Aunt Myrtle closed her eyes, a single tear escaping. "You've summoned her," she whispered.

GMAX asked small-business owner Hrengor the Beholder about this new revelation. "It's quite a surprise. If dark matter never existed then why do we have transit corridors and nodes

Hrengor the Beholder crashed to his meditation mat, his soul imploding. He had the wrong number of tentacles and his lineage despised him for being a pacifist. But the worst thing