Fold it like the colossal seafaring vessel of the Norse gods, crafted by dwarves to condense to the size and portability of a handkerchief when traveling overland.

doorless antechamber of the Archduke Ferdinand's pickle collection for pickle emergencies like the time the Archduke Ferdinand's heart was penetrated by a high-speed pickle from

was truly a Hell of a guy. Detective Manatee sat in his cruiser, pondering his next move. The smoothie stall stakeout had been a big bust. May as well follow Hrengor the Beholder.

must admit, however, that I find trying to integrate thing #3 into my burgeoning cosmoconception to be somewhat of a challenge, but one that I hope I can

become a complete recluse like Howard Hughes. He would stay alone in dark hotel rooms with tissue boxes on his feet, convinced it was the only way to keep germs away. My fans would

But the realmente estupidos was Dummy the Imp, the inexplicably long-lived demonic minion. His father was a pet rock, and his mother was a bucket of paint thinner. But he was happy

never make assumptions on anything. As the saying goes: It makes an ass out of you and me. What an asinine comment. I cannot believe that jackass! And thus, the thread of

But there was no reply and there wouldn't be one. Every single man, woman, & non-binary currently present within the Fijian complex was ensconced

continued the siphon, but her husband's words don't go unnoticed. Later that day she went to get some wax supplements. Unfortunately she didn't read the fine print, which said

Diiiiissaaaapooooiiiinted!!!! ...but he found a coupon for 20 percent of froyo . With a little jaunt in his step the gang soon arrived at

I moved my bowels into a paper bag, lit the bag on fire, and maneuvered myself close to shore. One of the five British jerkwads mistook my advance for

full-spectrum salaciousness and libertinism, which flew in the face of the four-color Heritage their ancestors had carefully crafted. "How dare you! Think of the kids!" The judge

-- actually she just reminded me that we call it a mobile home (even though it's not likely to move again). Ours is the one with the eight AC units, because Earth is so warm.

"Nice job, you dimwit! Never again will I trust someone that tells me you're good." Just like that, the man was forced outside and began walking home in the rain.

The pork distracts the taste buds while the spices infiltrate the TRP-V1 receptors. Washing down with water only amplifies the effect. These crimes continue in the large intestines

my old childhood clothes and frantically pulled them on. I hope that by wearing them I can relive my old happy memories with that rose sheen of nostalgia. They were a tight fit,

"Now see here!" shouted substitute teacher Aaron Krankheit. "Fiction is no laughing matter! The world is full of connivers who will try to use fiction against you. Don't let them!"

It was amazing that he would become President of the United States. Actually, not that amazing. His upbringing pretty much fit the mold. Speaking of drunk tanks and rectums, have

It turned out his cutting-edge botox injections were designed to pull one's face into a smile upon rigor mortis. This proved to be great advertising for Alamander's Implants,

based on my experience. Usually, I find out something horrible has happened and dwell on it all day. But, this thing has actually not happened and I dwell on nothing. I make things