a Milk/Bloodman instead. A milk vampire, essentially. And as we all know with milk vampires, they can only drink whole milk. Marley was still awful at sorting similar liquids, so

When really it's hot and scalds your esophagus like lava being poured down your innards. Or it's too cold and becomes slimy as it slides down. Soup is probably used at Guantanamo.

we know where secret things are hidden. You thought we were just digging to get out from the fences you erect to hold us captive or to find bones. No we are looking to find

tear into a bear carcass. The other animals laughed and called me Schizo-Bunny. I would show them who to laugh at! Maybe a nice pink clover would give me the strength to wreak my

attach super springs to the bottom of my flappy clown shoes, bounce around a golf course wearing a space helmet & steal the flag of hole 18. Springy bounded over the countryclub's

folds folded by folding foldsters. But lets's just get on with it. Once long ago a hippo swallowed me. Like a veritable Jonah I lived among the pink fleshy folds until

night terrors I also had. I kept them and the nightmares in the coral behind my collective unconscious: or at least my part of it anyway. Both were very good at picking up the cues

The Tahiti sun slivered through the grass walls and my sunburn stung a little. But I had my magic Harry Potter Cream which helped cure

navigator. I was going to end up lost forever, swallowed by the ocean in a paper coffin. The Bermuda Triangle would show me no mercy. It maybe would if SuperS111 was here. My yacht

Dumped me again at the ornate feet of a cast iron tub somewhere in the middle of the western frontier during Reconstruction or in Utah, trying to get to another time. One not in Ut

Pastor Bob thought Dubis meant schlong & spun round quickly. Believing I had said it, he boxed me hard. In rage I grabbed my trusty acid filled squirt gun aimed at my brothe

tossed the electric nose picker into her cocoa and turned around while she electrocuted her lips. She never was too bright. Until now. Her lips looked kinda sexy smoldering like th

going to be drinking tea in the Tiffin Room at Raffles, not on this particular day in any case. Still one can't be choosy. Then I was amazed by

ied us and agreed to letting us take a slice each but no more. I ate mine in a salad. A friend of mine made guacamole. The avocado felt it was the ripe thing to do

instead, I chose a lovely see through painters smock over hairy woolen slacks & a fuschia tunic. My mood was high. Until I ostracized one too many clients as a cold caller and

With a shrug of the shoulders, the sea fox set off back to calmer waters, with fewer creatures ignorant of his warning. If they wanted to drink to their demise, he'd let them. Not

lifting and spontaneous Vogue dancing. The Lady Gaga rip off strain came with farts, sneezes, and chronic meat dress fetishes. Most the world fell ill with one or the other until

" Read Mark from the dusty scroll he held in his hands, "You know what this means Nick ? this is proof that there was in fact an inferior race of monkey ancestors long ago"

...Albert sighed. His translation of Finnegans Wake into Canadian wasn't going so well. It'd been 27 days and he only had two pages. He decided to translate Everyone Poops instead.

bathroom, and then she ends up unleashing the brown bear. And when she thinks all is lost, the host appears, saying "don't worry, I too fed the porcelain stallion a brown bone".