The mirror whispered to her, "Get off your phone and pay attention!" as she busily went about business. The latest issue of The New Yorker was waiting. Gigi the peregrine falcon

The Minotaurs were now rampaging the streets, chasing human women and corralling human men. The kids they left. They were too small for manual labor. Satan laughed God had out done

My mum told me this long ago, so every time I cross the bridge over the river Lethe, her words of wisdom come to mind. The Red Orchestra was playing "Music For Madmen" by Zitti as

, probably because the aliens smelled very much like dogs themselves. The aliens also had the tendency to mark their territory with urine, something the dogs respected greatly.

dead on the floor, a pair of mallets protruding from his back. The audience gasped and the timpani player backed away slowly, swearing he hadn't ruined the xylophone solo, but his

ignored Mr. Sprocket's order. "Come on, Mr. Bit. Do you meet me at the anomaly's coordinates?" Bit said nothing and stared at Mr. Sprocket's intergalactic mountain bike. The planet

Until a foul wind winds up in abortion, an abomination either way. I read a book. I saw a photograph. Time to beat Iago. Eve liked that fruit, not an apple. Lilith sent it there.

have the best eyesight, but was a sick jockey. He relished the idea of breaking the new "horse" in- not before branding it. Much to Cuthbert's grief, Murdock mounted his sore heiny

, or suffer further rhyming torture a la faux Beatles. I didn't care for a hey or a diddle diddle, nor was I ever a piggy in the middle. I was Jeff, and I had a corduroy suit which

She would certainly want to get even. That cornerstore selling death on the side - a typical haunt. The people there, faceless. I'd ask, and they'd respond with

ice open a papaya in the dark under my sheets. I loved to have the juice run down my bruised and battered body while imagining Jason's bully pulpit grasping hands throw lawn darts.

forelle, no choice in the Whale & there are no eels in the hovercraft. Magic Mathew & Trippin' Tripper's organs decided they needed to change bodies before it was too late.

kind of guy. He was old and withering, though sturdy but also stubborn. "Excuse me sir," called a little girl with two bows in her hair. Her eye's big and one glob of snot...

the venting apparatus". The venting apparatus was some asbestos removal equipment that had been in the barn when they bought the farm. Nora Gene set it up to clear Grandpa's farts.

I continued to smile warily as I thought I heard some familiar stranger laughing from around the corner and down the hall one door. Dog sure does taste bad, even with taffy residue

That was a bad idea. All that fiber that he had just eaten in 17 seconds decided to find out how fast it could come out the other side. He went from regular to superordinary flow!

Everywhere he went, folks yanked their curtains and screamed at his PSYCHO scent. He would often lift his nose up from the ground and tell them it was pronounced SY-CO not SY-CHO!

and if you see penguins visiting, you know you are way down under just like the bearish stockmarket

yen, pesos, doubloons, euros, francs, lira, ruble, rupee, Monopoly money or firstborn children but they nonetheless accepted the content of what he was saying. Yes, walruses deserv

Professor Orson pondered his question about Freemasons before turning to the subject of Diplomatic Immunity and how diplomats seemed to be above the law