upon the man as a worthy rival. He knew ABBA as much as they did. Although the gnats got to listen in on the band's candid conversations, Petey was a neutral party for ABBA to vent

here to address that fact that you seem unable to stop yourself from stealing." "Psh, I can stop any time I want," I said. "Oh? Then I suppose that is NOT my pen?"

Finally, dad was ready for his first stand up show. As he stood below the sweltering house lights, staring blankly at the crowd, I was sure he'd bomb. "Donald Trump, a priest and a

Royal Crown Cola from when they spelled it all out. In other words, before they started labeling it RC Cola. That was also when they still had the original formula that made it the

the "rubberband man firework trick" or Uncle Buck's famous "Goat Brain Crawdad pinch" wasnt exactly something my dad could even do at his age, let alone without following Uncle to

all over the floor of the car, and the ground of the Parkway, Carpetbaggers shoes dropped all over. She yelled, "Ying Yang!" as her day reversed the negative of his. She would r

in the muck, pouting. What to do? What to do? Perhaps now was the time to expand my pocket phoenix. Yes, may as well. The old cliches were retold for a reason. But first I'd need

paradise where we were free to be our little selves. I was determined that Toto and I would never go back to that Kansas Hell-hole again and anchored our house to a magic mountain.

"human cultures have been in decline since the dawn of human history. Please make an effort to grow up to some extent. Lime Jello shot?" Doris Lessing glared at Captain Jarvon,

corner tobacconist to buy the London Times. There I was on the Fleet Street bus in my getup reading the TImes when it happened. Out of the blue

Shoe Angel, or a Shangel as the Old Masters had called them. Finally, I had completed my training, and now I could fly using my shoes which were

The dealer looked puzzled for a moment, glancing down at the cards he held. "Um, Simon, we're playing Uno. There is no bluffing." He slapped a Draw Four onto the pile of cards.

Then Freddie got AIDS. They never got that album. But then came the rise of Nirvana, which saw yet another white David on our screen.

Bartholomew raced ahead in his little shorts which were a little too tight. "EEEEEE-" he screamed, rushing through the garden like something was stuck between his legs.

The detective knew that if he couldn’t identify the man all hope would be lost. He paced around his office. Of course! He would take the most common names ( John, Sam, Daniel) and

"Uhm, yeah, is this the, um, place where you fix the like, ah, my brain hurts?" "Yes sir, please come down to 472 Ohio Ave. We're having a Tuesday special so hurry!" The caller

snowmen so that they could continue to survive in Hell once it froze. Next, Satan started to funnel global warming into the vent system connecting the surface to Hell. Then, he had

"Sorry about that, sir. I was just practicing and you seemed to sneak through out of nowhere. As for the object of your pursuit: I happen to know her, and you are unlikely to find

and steadily held my arm at an angle so that i had the other birds within the hairs of my rifles scope. As sweat ran down my temples i then inhaled very slowly only to exhale fire.

Even the cicada who'd flown into the room during the interview got a job as a water purifier. The end of recession never looked so good. Now with an influx of corporate workers,