swimming in a public pool and getting pregnant. And then running in the pool area, slipping and injuring themselves. So figuratively and literally as well. The next step of our

I have begged him to give them some kind of way to know who it is sending them the craftsmanship letters so he can gain some recognition.

It's quite the *package*, if you know what I mean. Wink wink, nudge nudge." "Wow, when did it come?" "It came quickly! I didn't have to wait long at all." "Must have been hard to

was surly but opened normally, mostly professionally. The taxi's back seat was supportive but clearly no pushover. It took my ass in tow & went about its job as a matter of course.

encyclopedia salesperson on a really hot day. Which it was. It was 102 degrees F and they were making Andrea sell these heavy books outdoors. "There's a good article on heat stroke

what you got when you dropped out of Disco Clown School. "If you can't pass the class, oh, you don't get the afro." That's what my pappy always told me. The rainbow afro was the

Behind the scenes, the orangutans had derived a gibberish language (not unlike pig-latin) to feed to the scientists.

just in time to avoid the Great Dr Pepper Invasion of 2008. She hid behind Admiral Jones, sipping her Pepsi nervously while the Kool-Aid Men fired off rounds of Tab at the

lable in weasel and porcupine. "Weasel will do," she nods, "My ex was a weasel." She begins to read the manual. M: Insert the crank-a-doodle in the windermajig and pop the spurt-

By the time I felt them let go, and I was able to pull my head from the toilet, I realized I'd been given a "Swirly". The boy's room seemed empty, but a spindly voice arose from

took my slap in stride. He grabbed me by my elbows to keep me from slapping him again. "Katherine Hepburn was in a 1974 Tromavision production of "Arsenic & Old Lace 2." I couldn't

, father dear!” my bro replied melodically. Unconvinced, we heard dad’s steel-clad slippers closing in on our position. Setting the buttered bread aside, my bro readied the knife

sharp looking dude sidled up to the baboon and offered her a big label record deal but the deal had to be finalized before midnight tonight under the blue full moon. Still giddy,

shattered the window and dove onto the parking lot. I paused between two cars to catch my breath, but I could hear the commotion from inside growing louder and knew that I had to

"Tell us more about the Shrieking Spaghetti!" cried one. "No, no, I want to hear about the Perilous Penne!" said another. "What about the Monstrous Macaroni?" came the query.

cats never do. He extended a paw; I passed over the 'nip. No further communication was necessary. Done deal. I awoke the next

I have to admit that it took me a long time to appreciate that last point. When I go back and save my friends from their fates they still end up dying differently. But dead though.

Mechanical elves who’s language communicated pure inspiration. On one visit an especially beautiful elf advised her to visit foldingstory.com where she might

the unspeakable event. The one that killed my great uncle Daphné, and drove my second cousin Fredrica insane. The event that I mean is, of course, the 2019 Naruto fest. It happened

the Devil's Weed in its mouth. After a while the lamb got heavy or Agnes grew tired and she dropped the lamb. It landed on the Holy Landmine of Antioch. Agnes collected the bits of