A very expensive hobby . Each car costs 3 arms and a leg. Coke is cheaper but it adds up over time. Better to through obese people in the sea , the splash is just as satisfying and

with relish. But eating scorpions caused the King of Snakes terrible explosive diarrhea. Not able to give up his scorpion habit, the King put the explosive diarrhea to good use. He

"knew some guy" and the oragutan took possession of 10 crates of bananas later that morning. One crate he gave to the guy that he knew and rest made a tidy sum on the black market.

here to use her alien powers to distribute Gucci fashions to all the poor people of the world. She became known among the indigent as "Saint Lizzy of the Preposterous Shoes". When

was better than Pollock. His Picasso was better than Picasso. This orangutan was destined to eclipse humanity in his art-making. But this would only work if he was ever recognized

n launch a brutal yet efficient attack to make women swoon and marines jealous". Anubis nodded in agreement. "High priest Amenhotep! I hereby banish you to 3000 days in hell"

I wasn't afraid to stand up for my beliefs, and I believed that licorice ice cream was a terrible freaking idea. The witches disagreed and tied me to a stake in the yard.

-erior version of myself. Good thing I'm all ready dead, but what will they say at my funeral? Let's listen in, shall we? "He was so great until after he died," moaned Doris Day.

At the funeral Polly’s old friend Snowy and his human kept asking pointed questions about mysterious visitors reported in the marshes near Misty Mountain. Where was Psycho?

& pointed her out. It is very important you clean the brain shaped vacuum in this women’s skull,” Dr. Wussy told the vacuum cleaner. Then he brandished a coupon at him. “Exclusions

the hour hand on the clock tower. He watched, stunned, as a shock wave of electricity leapt from the clock and onto a tree, setting it ablaze. The tree then fell onto the awning of

brain, which she left at the door, to then proceed to the combination Bar Mitzvah/Quinciniera/Baptism ceremony that would leave ANYONE's mouth hanging open, to follow up with

whatever that was that just killed you. You were too busy looking at the woman breastfeeding that you didn't notice your food was trying to escape your clutches. You might have ove

a bomb-filled turnip truck bound for the airport. The fall through the window knocked me out cold. I woke up in the hull of a cargo plane flying to a secret Las Vegas airfield.

" Just then, Ovine Jimmy's girlfriend Jenny the Ass (it's complicated) swam by. He kissed her man as she listed him onto her back and carried him to the shore. "My father's ghost

nice flavor. Plus, they gave him laser vision. Taipan smiled a cattish smile as he prepared to pounce.

tire iron began to re-assemble the wreck of the Piper Laurie, using only her instincts. The Smoking Gun blew a pink bubble and popped it loudly. She threw the iron at him, knocking

like an Xrvian slave girl inhaling an entire box of perfectly good Bodega caffeine pods through an opening in her elbow, but turned out to be a Valerian policewoman looking for the

know that he had undiagnosed AD/HD, OCD, ODD, BRB, and AC/DC. Jorgen needed to Rock these pyramids! In a very specific and organized way. If he didn't get his way, well, it would

Billy scowled at his mother. "¡Vete al cuerno!" the foul-mouthed child said. Sandra had no idea what he'd just said, but she acted offended anyway. "Young man! That is no way to