but stranger still was when I realized that I could not awake from my synaesthetic dream. I begged the trees for help, but they just stood there, whistling Barry Manilow tunes.

the laundry racket in this dream & required you pay for your laundry with plastic sporks. That certain hallucinating someone was in my flesh again. Trying to convince me it was me.

Apparently, that was the only place where anyone had freedom in the Post-everything era. There was no central bank there, ever, nor were there any food riots. They read the Onion.

The brunch was conical and comical as well. Melon in the shape of a traffic cone, sculpted with loving detail like

aunts in the neighborhood put out garbage down the street. It's not like I'm sitting around all day with the door wide open focusing on picking up scents. They just come to me

sewing machine, and knitted a sweater out of poison ivy. Then I sent the sweater to the final foe, and waited for about three days. Afterwards, I went over and collected the trophy

in my own childhood room. It couldn't make up it's mind which age to stick with. I recognized everything but they flashed by so fast I buried my head in the sand. Grounded again.

"Leave the spider dial on too long... and you'll BREAK THE NET." I turned away in disgust. "As if. Not even a Kardashian could do that." The spider phone began to glow.

-- oh that Gaga - she weren't no lady, thought Madonna, pressing down the beauty mark which kept falling off her face. "I'll teach ALL the Madonna-wanna-bees who's the real Mado!"

But, deep down somewhere, I was proud of him. For him. Deep down, I cared about him. That's what always made it so hard for me to hurt and dominate my sub, Boris Pochenko.

of my truck. They must have been desperate to come like this. They had to know my civic duty was to kill them. Or I had walked into a trap. Then a word stood our from their babble.

That was the summer that they had the red bloom tide all along the gulf coast. Hattie had pushed Forrest into that. Now, Hattie hadn't meant to push Captain Gump off his own boat.

"Get your buttress off our umbrella!" the elves yelled, but she only laughed at them. "Silly elves," she purred, little knowing that they were planning her demise. Horfy the evil

seems the world is not quite ready for our Mulch Studded Goat Cheese, according to early product testing. We like to think of it more as art, anyway. It becomes performance art if

"Hyep." Billy Ray spat in a spittoon. "You seen 'em?" he asked, loading another wad of BBQ chewing gum in his mouth. "Sweet home Alabama, this is good." exclaimed Billy Ray.

fuck the fuck you're fucking fuck fuck with? I liked the beat but I couldn't dance to it. Did I drink another bottle of whiskey again? If not, did I still have time? My Cadillac

you your own face as others see it and, by extension, you." Then the monster picked up Santa's headless body and threw it at us. We scattered through Athlete's Foot & into the food

until the TV in the next room announced a woman had just won the first US gold medal in wrestling.He burst out sobbing. His dead mother often dreamed of TVs in other rooms.

mentality of the current herd in power. They lacked the perspective to see they themselves were the very thing they detested. Seething with ennui, Emily brought her axe to work.

wore new underwear for these things. He felt that coming in with skidmarks already in his underwear wasn't in the spirit of the competition. Benny knew some firefighters disagreed.